If I Had One

Jack my brake at the traffic stop
Interstate lookin' like a parkin' lot
Fat boy flying on a fat boy bike
Weavin' in and out and passin' me by
I honked my horn and shot the bird at that crazy SOB
Even if deep down I was wishin' it was me

But if I had one I'd have to say
I'd probably do the same dang thing
Pull her to the shoulder and let that steel horse run
I'd be hell on wheels if I had one

Called my brother said how you been
We ain't been fishin' since I don't know when
He said this graveyard shift's a graveyard grind
I got more bills than I got time
I'd love to weigh the line but my wife'll just stay on my case
I said I guess I know who wears
The pants around your place

But if I had one I'd have to say
I'd probably do the same dang thing
Stay at home holdin' my baby when the workday's done
Yeah I'd try to keep her happy if I had one

Sittin' on a barstool talkin' to a lady
She's runnin' my tab up callin' me baby
Buy her a drink she'll let you chase her
Watch her shake her money maker

But if I had one I'd have to say
I'd probably shake it the same dang way
Hike it up high so I could get it some
I'd never buy another beer if I had one

You know things would be different if I had one
That's what I'd do, if I had one of those
I'd do it just like that, right, there
Thing's would be different if I had one too
But I don't
But if I had one
Yeah, buddy Oh, buddy