The Perfect Pint

[Intro (spoken)]
Right, the UK's best drinking song as voted for by me
Keep up, here we go

[Verse 1]
There's a lot of drinks on sale behind the bar
And whatever you choose tells us who you really are
But you'll never go one better than a wetter pint of bitter
'Cause a better pint of bitter is the perfect pint

You can pull a pint and drink a pint and knock one back
I can have a wee and then I'm gonna get you one back
But you'll never go one better than a wetter pint of bitter
'Cause a better pint of bitter is the perfect pint

[Bridge (spoken)]
It's not as easy as it sounds, is it?
We're just going to go a little bit quicker now, like a Black Lace record
Come on!

[Verse 2]
There's a lot of drinks on sale behind the bar
And whatever you choose tells us who you really are
But you'll never go one better than a wetter pint of bitter
'Cause a better pint of bitter is the perfect pint

You can pull a pint and drink a pint and knock one back
I can have a wee and then I'm gonna get you one back
But you'll never go one better than a wetter pint of bitter
'Cause a better pint of bitter is the perfect pint

[Bridge (spoken)]
Ooh, little bit quicker now again, quicker again, and higher!

[Verse 3]
There's a lot of drinks on sale behind the bar
And whatever you choose tells us who you really are
But you'll never go one better than a wetter pint of bitter
'Cause a better pint of bitter is the perfect pint

You can pull a pint and drink a pint and knock one back
I can have a wee and then I'm gonna get you one back
But you'll never go one better than a wetter pint of bitter
'Cause a better pint of bitter is the perfect pint

[Bridge (spoken)]
We're goin' go even quicker, this is gettin' mental, right

[Verse 4]
There's a lot of drinks on sale behind the bar
And whatever you choose tells us who you really are
But you'll never go one better than a wetter pint of bitter
'Cause a better pint of bitter is the perfect pint

You can pull a pint and drink a pint and knock one back
I can have a wee and then I'm gonna get you one back
But you'll never go one better than a wetter pint of bitter
'Cause a better pint of bitter is the perfect pint

[Outro (spoken)]
Easy. Piece of cake