The Beer Olympics

[Verse 1]
Now the Olympics come to these fair isles in two thousand and twelve
But just how can we ensure that we take gold?
But then I had a thought
Make drinking beer an Olympic sport
And now let my masterplan unfold

Because

[Chorus]
I wanna put drinking beer in the Olympics
We'd all be world-class athletes, you and me
We'll drink 'till we're unstable
On top of the medal table
I'm going to the bar for Team GB

[Verse 2]
Well I could drink ten pints sat in me vest
Trying to break me personal best
There'd even be medals for queuing at the KFC
From now on going out on the lash
Will all be funded by lottery cash
So I'm going to the bar for Team GB

[Verse 3]
So getting bladdered now becomes intensive training
And I'm exercising at the pub week-in week-out (Yee-haw!)
And I've got on a retainer
Johnny Vegas as me personal trainer
We're drinking bitter, lager, cider, ale and stout (Hey-hey!)

[Chorus]
I wanna put drinking beer in the Olympics
We'd all be world-class athletes, you and me
We'll drink 'till we're unstable
On top of the medal table
I'm going to the bar for Team GB

[Bridge (Spoken)]
Yes, it's er, gymnastics now, lets check on Willie Eckerslike in the vault
Er, I’m told he’s no longer in the vault, he’s now in the lounge, undertaking the synchronised drinking
Let's check the marks from the judges
5.6, 5.8, 5.9 percent alcohol
He's done it!! Gold for Britain!!

[Verse 4]
Well I could drink ten pints sat in me vest
Trying to break me personal best
There'd even be medals for queuing at the KFC
From now on going out on the lash
Will all be funded by lottery cash
So I'm going to the bar for Team GB

[Verse 5]
Now drinking lager, the Germans they'll be competition (Achtung!)
And for vodka the Russians would put up a fight, I guess
But drinking till you’re chaotic
Will finally be patriotic
Ha- has anyone got Seb Coe's email address? (Wa-hey! Ho-ho!)

[Chorus]
I wanna put drinking beer in the Olympics
We'd all be world-class athletes, you and me
We'll drink 'till we're unstable
On top of the medal table
I'm going to the bar for Team GB