On the Box

Right, tin of beer, remote control, sofa, we're set, here we go

I'm a Lancashire man through and through, and there's nothing more I'd rather do than settle down in front of the TV set (TV set)
But as I click remote control, I discover that on the hole, there's nothing on, and it gets me quite upset (crying)

Long gone are t' days it used to be, just Auntie Beeb and ITV, Channel 4? It only started in '82 (Ba ba ba ba)
So you think we'd all rejoice at today's plethora of choice? There's telly everywhere but not a thing to view!

Stick your [?] telly where the sun don't shine (Who's Sky+ this? Who's series linked this?)
They got the same stuff on repeat all of the time (Ice marathons, sharks)
And I can't take anymore of Friends on Channel 4
Stick your [?] telly where the sun don't shine (America's Next Top Model. I don't care! In America!)

On Satdee mornings I stay in bed and watch TV physics talk to t'dead
There's ten different channels showing Street Crime UK
But when I'm layering my socks, I want quality on the box
Not back-to-back reruns of Judge Judy all blooming day

Just when I think of trying to finish me meal and sit thi deawn to watch Deal or No Deal
And I've managed dodge that awful Dawson's Creek
I've got absolutely no hope of watching anything but soaps 'cos Jean Sky+ the lot and series linked next week!

Stick your [?] telly where the sun don't shine (Another programme on about sharks)
They got the same stuff on repeat all of the time (All about Nazis)
And I can't take anymore (sharks) of Friends on Channel 4
Stick your [?] telly where the sun don't shine (Wife will watch owt but bloomin' I won't)
Stick your [?] telly where the sun don't shine

Ripoff