Me PSP

[Chorus 1]
I've got a confession to make
For a man of my age
Now young lads play with it all the time
They think it's all the rage
They do it in their bedrooms
When their mum and dads in bed
Grown men like me shouldn't do it
'cos we've got wives instead

I've tried talkin' to the wife
But she doesn't understand
The pleasure that it gives me
When I hold it in me hand
The longer you play wi' it
The more it gets hard
Especially when you've got no memory
On yer memory card

(Talkin' about my PlayStation PSP of course!
Dirty, inquisitive minds)

[Verse 1]
Oh it started one day
I got a bonus from work
Two hundred pounds
Oh, the wife she went beserk
'cos she sent me down to B&Q
To go and buy some shelves
But I spent the cash in Gamestation
And she played merry hell

Yer see I bought meself a PSP
Wi' a couple of great games
And ever since I bought it
Life hasn't been the same
And the wife want me to do the gutters
It'd only take a day
But instead I'm wasting all me time
Playing GTA

[Chorus 2]
Oh me PSP
Me PSP
It really is fantastic
It is the one for me
I'm glad I saw it in the shop
Just sitting on the shelf
'cos now I got so much pleasure
Playin' with myself

I've tried talkin' to the wife
But she doesn't understand
The pleasure that it gives me
When I hold it in me hand
The longer you play wi' it
The more it gets hard
Especially when you've got no memory
On yer memory card

(Been playin' that Tomb Raider
Have you seen the size of levels on that game?
Huge!)

[Verse 2]
Well, the wife is getting fed up now
I never come to bed
I just sit on the sofa
And play FIFA instead
She puts on sexy underwear
Gives me come to bed eyes
But the kid down't road I've got to beat him
He's onto level five!

[Chorus 2]
Oh me PSP
Me PSP
It really is fantastic
It is the one for me
I'm glad I saw it in the shop
Just sitting on the shelf
'cos now I got so much pleasure
Playin' with myself

I've tried talkin' to the wife
But she doesn't understand
The pleasure that it gives me
When I hold it in me hand
The longer you play wi' it
The more it gets hard
Especially when you've got no memory
On yer memory card

(Left, left, left, why won't it go left, Jean
I'm pressing it, it's not going left here Gene)

[Verse 3]
And so one night when me and't wife
Were cosy, lay in bed
She whispered softly in my ear
And this is what she said

"Darling I've been thinking
About our bedroom fun
And the pleasure that you get
By moving just your thumb
So I've bought myself a present
To keep me entertained
I'll confess that it takes batteries
And I'm sure you won't complain"
I couldn't think of what shed bought
But I didn't have to guess
'cos right then she pulled it out
A Nintendo DS!

[Chorus 3]
I've tried talking to the wife
And now she understands
The pleasure it gives her
When she holds it in her hand
The longer she plays wi' it
The more it gets hard
Especially when she's got no memory
On her memory card!

(Right if I hit square, circle, triangle, down, down, up, down
That's got him, that's got him Gene)