Keys Wallet Phone

[Verse 1]
Y'know how it goes on Sat'day night
Your drinks are flowing fine
Pork scratchings, mild, a pickled egg
'fore landlord shouts for time (Time!)
Best get these drunk and head for home
Jean's lost control of 'er knees
And as I get t' ruddy door I realise
I've lost me keys!

[Chorus]
Oh!
There's a famous phrase in Lancashire that you can sing wi' me
It isn't hard to learn at all, and when you do you'll see
Three simple words to say out loud before you head for home
Keys, wallet, phone

[Verse 2]
A restaurant, the perfect place for me to treat the wife
You choose the wine, I'm having stout
"Garcon, I've dropped me knife!"
And after four chocolate mints I say "no, I'm payin' for it"
And then I go and realise, no I'm not
'Cause I've lost me wallet!

[Chorus]
Oh!
There's a famous phrase in Lancashire that you can sing wi' me
It isn't hard to learn at all, and when you do you'll see
Three simple words to say out loud before you head for home
Keys, wallet, phone

[Verse 3]
The holidays are here again
Hooked caravan up t' car
I've got a pitch in Skeggy, me
It isn't very far
And if I'd set out long ago, look at traffic, if only I'd known
And car's broke down, ring th' RAC
Nope! I've lost me phone

[Chorus]
Oh!
There's a famous phrase in Lancashire that you can sing wi' me
It isn't hard to learn at all, and when you do you'll see
Three simple words to say out loud before you head for home
Keys, wallet, phone
(Bahh-bahh-bahh, bah-bah-bah)