Hey You, Grow a Beard

I saw you in the streets
Your beardless face was such a shame
Because a man without a beard
Is like a lion without a dick
I said "hey you! Grow a beard
Or get out of my town!"
I continued yelling angrily
As I followed you around

So take heed
Of what I have to say
Grow a beard
Or I will make you pay!

Hey you, grow a beard!
Grow a beard or else
If you don't grow a beard
I'll make you grow a beard myself!
You look like a moron
And you know it's true!
So hey you, grow a beard!
Coz that's what I told you to do

(Hey you, grow a beard!)
(Hey you, grow a beard!)
You've gotta grow a beard! (hey you, grow a beard!)

I sent you a strongly worded letter
Threatening in tone
I know where you live
I waited outside your home
I hacked into your facebook
I went through your trash
I ordered a bunch of pizzas
Straight to your address!

So take heed
Of what I have to say
Grow a beard
Or I will make you pay!

Hey you, grow a beard!
Grow a beard or else
If you don't grow a beard
I'll make you grow a beard myself!
You're a moron
And you know it's true!
So hey you, grow a beard!
Coz that's what I told you to do

I'm gonna make you grow a beard, I've got a lot of shit planned.
And I've got a lot of returns on my hands
A man without a beard is not a real man
So do what I demand and grow a God damned beard.

(Hey you, grow a beard!)
(Hey you, grow a beard!)
(Hey you, grow a beard!)
(Hey you, grow a beard!)

Hey you without a beard I'm gonna take you down!
I'm gonna flip you the bird when I see you around
I'm gonna badmouth you, to all your friends
I'm gonna take your daughter out and never call her again!
I'm gonna throw things at you when you go to the shops
I'm gonna take a shit in your mail box!
I trust that I am making myself clear?
You better grow a beard!
Grow a beard!