Poisoning Claude

when you jumped into the lake
I thought I’d made a mistake
in letting you go

but the whole Pacific ocean couldn’t drown you
and a thousand men couldn’t tame you
and a thousand milligrams of morphine
wouldn’t kill you
you’d have wished you’d never left your room
knowing damn well you’d fall so soon for a game of kiss and tell
you’d have wished you’d never left your room
knowing damn well you’d fall so soon for a game of kiss and tell

and when you chopped off your thumb
I had to applaud your gumption
but I could not bring myself to applaud
the time you poisoned Claude
with a dash of this and a dash of that
his head went purple and that was that

my feet are sore I fear I’m just a bore 
there are things we’d rather ignore
and things to die for
my feet are sore I fear I’m just a bore 
there are things we’d rather ignore
and things to die for

you’d have wished you’d never left your room
knowing damn well you’d fall so soon for a game of kiss and tell
you’d have wished you’d never left your room
knowing damn well you’d fall so soon for a game of kiss and tell