Epilogue

In a nightmare, I am falling from the ceiling into bed beside you
You're asleep, I'm screaming, shoving you to try to wake you up
And like before, you've got no interest in the life you live when you're awake
Your dreams still follow storylines, like fictions you would make

So I lie down against your back, until we're both back in the hospital
But now it's not a cancer ward, we're sleeping in the morgue
Men and women in blue and white, they are singing all around you
With heavy shovels holding earth, you're being buried to you neck
In that hospital bed, being buried quite alive now
I'm trying to dig you out but all you want is to be buried there together

You're screaming
And cursing
And angry
And hurting me
And then smiling
And crying
Apologizing

I've woken up, I'm in our bed, but there's no breathing body there beside me
Someone must have taken you while I was stuck asleep
But I know better as my eyes adjust
You've been gone for quite a while now, and I don't work there in the hospital
(They had to let me go)

When I try to move my arms sometimes, they weigh too much to lift
I think you buried me awake (my one and only parting gift)
But you return to me at night just when I think I may have fallen asleep
Your face is up against mine, and I'm too terrified to speak

You're screaming
And cursing
And angry
And hurting me
And then smiling
And crying
Apologizing