All My Heroes (for my friends)

You've changed a lot, is it sweets now?

Crazy that you're maybe gonna make your fucking Gs proud

Since year nine you've been flowing I admire that devotion

Back in school we were always smiling we were joking

But you didn't know that I was going home and I was choking

On a vodka bottle, no one I could open up to

No one taught me how

Until that night we took them pills and we cried

I guess we finally fucking let it out

The other evening I was looking through my memories and

Thinking that it's kind of weird that we'd been smoking weed and

Getting drunk for 4 whole years when we were 17

And never second thought about it busy chasing after clouds and empty baggies

I beg you don't forget about me, you ran away and found the stage

While I stayed with the same old sessioners

Never asking questions just

Self medicating and pretending like we're having fun

So tame, ketamine and cocaine

Bags became a habit I would sell it so I don't pay

Couple ounces, couple weeks

Couple benders wouldn't sleep

Couple nights where I would weep just thinking bout what should've been

I never let my tears fall, I thought they wouldn't make a sound

Think you can do it brother, keep on trying, make us proud

Keep on trying make us proud

Keep on trying make us proud

Things haven't been the same since secondary

School, we didn't even know the world was so heavy

We'd see a penny pick it up

love it that having luck

Wish that I could say the same haven't really felt the same

Since we started taking drugs

Pay the price for all that love,

Everyday locked inside my room where I know it's safe

But it ain't

Demons on the walls take the centre stage

I see your Instagram you're superman with Louis Lane

Everybody doing fine, everybody doing great

Everybody's got their likes everybody's got their mates

Happy that you found somebody, honestly I miss the chase

But how come I can't even leave the house without this fucking pain

Nowadays every time I hear my phone belling

It says I love you and I hope you're doing better

Meaning every conversation's heavy, please alleviate the pressure

Wish this motherfucking elephant would leave the room forever

Everything that made me happy, everything that took me home

Left me in the black of night and left me fighting all alone

With knots inside my stomach vomit crawling up my fucking throat

Tried to take my life and left you on the fucking phone

Keep on trying make us proud

Keep on trying make us proud

I miss you boys

I miss those days we used to spend together

Rolling up on park benches, wind the only disincentive

Sparking up in car parks, barging over yards and fences

Hardly got our cards worth, still wanted to live forever

I wish we'd left it but he wouldn't let us

Dragon had a plan and wasn't gonna let us leave already

Three addictive personalities with their feet in this bear trap that takes so many

Hundred thousand pounds of pressure

Now every time I'm dropping you a text it

It says I love you and I hope you're doing better

Wonder if I'm trying so hard to be a good friend

Because I rolled your joints and racked your lines

Applying peer pressure

Blaming other kids coz mum was jumping to believe it

Little did she know I was the fucking ringleader

I guess she needed to believe her own son wouldn't deceive her

Jesus, don't get me started on that social media

I'm always happy in the pictures, always doing what I love

Trust I'm battling with the bad days and batting with the crutch

Likes are just a cheap and lonely substitute for love

I need that childlike wonder if we spent it all on the drugs

We had feeling there was something wrong

Busy with our worries deep inside our mud

You have let it out

Let the world in in any way possible

Open the doors to the light

When you're closed, you're the judge, you're the jury

But it's too dark to see

Irrational becomes rational, worries become truth, and your fabrication becomes the fabric

Lift the veil I lost you behind

I know you're in there, sometimes it's weeks, sometimes it's months

But sometimes I see my friend

I know that one of these visits, one of these homecomings

The cycle will break, and again we'll share those smiles that only we understand

In a room full of love, safe and sound

Just keep on trying, make us proud