Oxymoron

How can i keep my cool when im naturally hot headed
I got frenemies now imagine when ive made it
I stay busy doing what i know best make money
Always making the right moves and dont sweat it

You say you keep it a buck all i see is loose change
I hear whispers in the dark and they all say your name
The ones you help the most are the first to turn ghost
They laugh when you broke but when you winning they call you the goat

I love to be reminded im colored im unbothered
Alternate lives stay in place mine is like no other
Wouldnt have it any other way, family first
We'll be alright long as we have each other

Its got nothing to do with luck if you keep improving your game
Keep enemies close if they know your real name
These sheep like to impose and mooch off of your gains
Ski mask on when you see me so you dont see my pain

I know how hard it can feel sometimes
I know how hard it can be sometimes
I promise you
I understand
Believe me

Please forgive them for they know not what they do
They tried me and they both trash i had to waste two
Twenty six to the chest red water alphabet soup
Best of the best wont stop till im in a phantom red coupe

You see im living by any means necessary
It gets cold and lonely out here it gets very scary
Brace yourself for failure its hereditary
But how you overcome it is what makes you extraordinary

Ive cried myself to sleep because i lost focus
Self doubt is your worse enemy I felt down and broken
So many things ive seen are not meant to be spoken
Their better forgotten, they're not even worth it

When my thoughts are back in action I’m back to them streets
Share to the youth the things I learn that used to be me
Back to that job, that 9 to 5 make sure the family eats
Ducking the law, they not involved, they’re not protecting no peace

And then it’s back here where we are, yes this is the routine
My visions reaching extra far with the most lucid of dreams
Into existence I speak, loudly capeesh?
Stepping stones to the feat, clocks ticking, buzzers to beat

Not to be bothered, no that's not an option
My days are long-winded you're talking for the birds, I'm an Ostrich
I'm grounded
Down to earth,
Slash all the above
They're calling me up like damn man ain't you doing too much?

No argue or fronting with none of them
Know I keep it honest regardless
That's something that we keep in common
Do not disturb, use your logic don't call me
(dont call me)

Partners but we'll have a problem
I'm pocketed deep in my conscious
Kicking back for a minute, intended before responses
It's been day after day, no break it's been the hardest

Eyes closed for like 30 minutes, my senses sharpen
Might just need me a flight attendant, I beg your pardon
Lose myself in music alluding to higher purpose offered