The World's Greatest Criminal Mind

My friends, we are about to embark on the most odious
The most evil, the most diabolical scheme of my illustrious career
A crime to top all crimes
A crime that will live in infamy
Tomorrow evening our beloved monarch celebrates her Diamond Jubilee
And with the enthusiastic help of our good friend Mr Flaversham
It promises to be a night she will never forget, her last night
And my first as supreme ruler of all mousedom

Hahahaha
From the brain that brought you the Big Ben Caper
The head that made headlines in every newspaper
And wondrous things like the Tower Bridge Job
That cunning display that made Londoners sob

Now comes the real tour de force
Tricky and wicked, of course
My earlier crimes were fine for their times
But now that I'm at it again
An even grimmer plot has been simmering
In my great criminal brain

Even meaner? You mean it?
Worse than the widows and orphans you drowned?
You're the best of the worst around
Oh, Ratigan
Oh, Ratigan
The rest fall behind
To Ratigan
To Ratigan
The world's greatest criminal mind

Thank you, thank you
But it hasn't all been champagne and caviar
I've had my share of adversity thanks to that
Miserable, second-rate detective, Basil of Baker Street (boo)
For years that insufferable pipsqueak has interfered with my plans
I haven't had a moment's peace of mind (aw)
But, all that's in the past
This time nothing, not even Basil, can stand in my way
All will bow before me

Oh, Ratigan
Oh, Ratigan
You're tops and that's that
To Ratigan
To Ratigan
To Ratigan - the world's greatest rat

What was that? What did you call me?
Oh, oh, he didn't mean it, professor
It was just a slip of the tongue

I am not a rat

'Course you're not You're a mouse
Yeah, that's right, right, a mouse
Yeah, a-a big mouse

Silence
Oh, my dear Bartholomew
I'm afraid that you've gone and upset me
You know what happens when someone upsets me

Oh, Ratigan, you're the tops and that's that
Ooo, dear
To Ratigan, to Ratigan, the world's greatest

Oh, Felicia, my precious, my baby
Did daddy's little honeybun enjoy her tasty treat?
I trust there will be no further interruptions
And now, as you were singing?

Even louder
We'll shout it
No one can doubt what we know you can do
You're more evil than even you
Oh, Ratigan
Oh, Ratigan
You're one of a kind
To Ratigan
To Ratigan
The world's greatest criminal mind