Say hello to nobody

Elaine, Elaine, he only needs a name
To represent a woman in
The song he's writing
Without offending his wife
He only needs a synonym

There are common names
That everybody has
And everybody likes to use
But poor Elaine was nobody at all
Until he got his third divorce
Of course

Hurry, hurry! (Hurry, hurry)
Hurry, hurry! (Hurry, hurry)
Hurry, hurry! (Hurry, hurry)
Say hello to nobody

This once he made a terrible mistake
Of using an ex-girlfriend's name
He'd been out late and totally forgot
His life before he'd settled down
There were tears and shouts and something even worse
The silence of a passing sigh
He changed the song into an instrumental
And everybody wondered why
It sucked

Hurry, hurry! (Hurry, hurry)
Hurry, hurry! (Hurry, hurry)
Hurry, hurry! (Hurry, hurry)
Say hello to nobody