Growltiger's Last Stand / The Ballad Of Billy McCaw

Andrew Lloyd Webber / Richard Stilgoe / T.S. Eliot / Trevor Nunn

Growltiger was a Bravo cat who travelled on a barge
In fact, he was the roughest cat that ever roamed at large
From Gravesend up to Oxford, he pursued his evil aims
Rejoicing in the title of the Terror Of The Thames

His manner and appearance did not calculate to please
His coat was torn and seedy, it was baggy at the knees
One ear was somewhat missing
No need to tell you why
And he scowled upon a hostile world from one forbidding eye

The cottagers at Rotherhithe knew something of his fame
At Hammersmith and Putney, people shuddered at his name
They would fortify the hen house
Lock up the silly goose
When the rumour ran along the shore
Growltiger's on the loose

Woe to the weak canary that fluttered from its cage
Woe to the pampered Pekinese that faced Growltiger's rage
Woe to the bristly bandicoot that lurks on foreign ships
And woe to any cat with whom Growltiger came to grips

But most to cats of foreign race his hatred had been vowed
To cats of foreign name and race no quarter was allowed
The Persian and the Siamese regarded him with fear
Because it was a Siamese
That mauled his missing ear

Now, on a peaceful summer night, all nature seemed at play
The tender Moon was shining bright
The barge at Molesey lay
All in the balmy moonlight, it lay rocking on the tide
And Growltiger was disposed to show his sentimental side

Chi e la?
Mi amore!
Sono qui

In the forepeak of the vessel
Growltiger stood alone
Concentrating my attention on the Lady Griddlebone
And my raffish crew were sleeping
In their barrels and their bunks
As the Siamese came creeping in their sampans and their junks

Growltiger had no eye or ear for aught, but Griddlebone
And the lady seemed enraptured by my manly baritone
Disposed to relaxation and awaiting no surprise

But the moonlight shone reflected from a thousand bright blue eyes
And closer still and closer, the sampans circled 'round
And yet, from all the enemy, there was not heard a sound
The foe was armed with toasting forks and cruel carving knives
And the lovers sang their last duet in danger of their lives

In una tepida notte d'estate
Allorche la natura era nel pieno fulgore
E la resca rugiada splendeve al chiar de Luna
Sopra la verzura si poteva vedere
Il galeone ancorato

Oscillare in silenzio nel vento profumato
Dalla marea del naviglio serenemente cullato
In quella tepida notte che c'e dunque di male
Se intanta poesia
Il pirata divento sentimentale?

Oscillare in silenzio nel vento profumato
Dalla marea del naviglio serenamente cullato
In quella tepida notte
In quella tepida notte
In quella tepida notte

Then Genghis gave the signal
To his fierce Mongolian horde
Abandoning their sampans
The chinks they swarmed aboard
Abandoning their sampans
Their pullaways and junks

They battened down the hatches
On the crew within their bunks
Then Griddlebone she gave a screech
For she was badly skeered
I'm sorry to admit it
But she quickly disappeared

She probably escaped with ease
I'm sure she was not drowned

But a serried ring of flashing steel
Growltiger did surround (ayy!)
The ruthless foe pressed forward
In stubborn rank on rank
Growltiger to his vast surprise
Was forced to walk the plank

He, who a hundred victims
Had driven to that drop
At the end of all his crimes was forced
To go kerflip-kerflop

Oh, there was joy in Wapping when the news flew through the land
At Maidenhead and Henley, there was dancing on the Strand
Rats were roasted whole in Brentford and Victoria Dock
And a day of celebration was commanded in Bangkok

These modern productions
Are all very well
But there's nothing to equal
From what I hear tell
That moment of mystery
When I made history

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