WAKING UP FROM THE AMERICAN DREAM. (DEMO)

[Part I]

[Verse 1: Byron Henderson]
Could've set the trends for the trend setters, but I had to make my own lane, bruh
Shame cause, the people I came up with stayed stuck and never came up
Opened my eyes for the first time in I don't know how long, but it felt different
Never took into account my health
But everything that plagued me, I felt missing
Mind is blank, and I don't care how much time it takes
I know I cared about something or somеone or both
So even if I havе to dig through the muck and the grime, I'll find it
Wait
I'm looking through all these pictures I took
All these memories I don't remember at all
A kid and a woman, I'm shook
I look around, trying to remember where I am
Trying to remember who I am
I look in the mirror, there I am, and that's when it dawned on me
I've been gone for however long, that ain't really my concern
But it took a while for me to recognize myself, so I've got a lot to learn
Take a second look at those pictures, Kels and Aaliyah
Kelsey and Aaliyah, right?
Memories get to flooding my brain, so I know I ain't bout to sleep tonight
That's funny, bro
Apparently, we've been best friends for plenty years
Even kept each other alive, but last night, there would've been plenty tears
At nine, I was taught I'm less than and I'm guessing that would've been reason enough
White folks gave me food for thought, and I'm here to say it wasn't seasoned enough
Realizing that I lost friends but I sold records
I can't even celebrate without wondering how are cops so reckless
Wondering how am I still here after last night
Past life is a crash site
Hesitant to text either one of these girls, I don't know what that's like
All I know is that I cared for them more than myself
And even though I'm empty now
Last night, I told the reflections of myself...

[Hook 1: Byron Henderson]
Let go of your high hopes
You both go where I go, in case I don't wake up again after my eyes close
Don't worry about me
Just know that they don't really care about you

Wake the dead and if it's to be, then I'll survive just for y'all
And we'll ride till we fall with our backs against the wall
Through it all, don't you worry about me
Just know that they don't really care about you
Yeah yeah

[Verse 2: Byron Henderson]
Told suckers that the rent was due
Never settle for what isn't meant for you
No idea why I'm still here, guess living is something I'm meant to do
And help is something I was sent to do
I'm twenty-one and I'm shocked, dawg
Cause I don't remember a single birthday, almost like the clock stopped, dawg
No pedestal to be knocked off
Higgity hop bought me a lot
Never to be confused with any one of my losses
Grappling with my own fate proved quite costly
But I remember having you two to look forward to when the time came
Talking way back when y'all stayed after recognizing the shape of my mind frame
Brain feeling like a race track knowing I've changed
Threw my life into chaos the day I believed anything I ain't say
Should've taken what y'all said with a grain of whatever y'all were throwing my way
But I ain't got any regrets or regression
No pressure
I'm blessed with my name, my soulmate, a best friend, and another shot at life alongside everything that I bring
It'll take time to process, but I know I'm here for a reason
I couldn't leave you two, cause y'all know I live and breathe you two
Told myself to ever get a second chance for Kels and Aaliyah, I need you to
Wait

[Verse 3: Byron Henderson]
Threw caution to the wind like my life depends on it
Tensions high, had a grave stone to engrave every one of my sins on it
No, I couldn't live a lie
See I went from careless to having a reason to care if I live or die
Last days lived through a sinner's eyes, huh
All that negative energy, trauma, and time lost
Eviscerated by healing and my cause
I'm a product of me and my failures
Passing through obstacles like it's the Bifrost
Hip-Hop never saved my life, two girls did, and that's by law, uh
You're looking at my flaws and my shortcomings
Twenty one and I've done everything I set out to do
Someone told me I still have a lot to prove to my doubters
I told them that's bollocks
Why prove anything to somebody that's not for you
Met the love of my life in 2012, a year that had me thinking I was bout to lose
How can you ever expect me to fall in line
Only thing I pledged to do is drop the noose
Between a rock and a hard place, stuck in the dark in the broad day
More time wasted than an alcoholic or a cop's gun up in y'all face
Told myself, don't go revealing your deepest secrets till you find a person with enough strength to legit receive them
Like the ugly truth behind wealth
I could never have her
At the same time, I'll forever have her and I cherish that
Cause I don't worry much these days, in her heart is where I'll never perish at
On top of that, I treat a certain kid like my own
Needed time to carve out my road
Even made sure I wasn't not alone when I got home
Both the strongest people I know, lives lost, just like hope
In a world moved by fear and fabricated freedom, we'll be alright though
Left them speechless, ain't enough dirt for them to bury or silence me with
So many flows, my ceiling is one too, like a mic check repeated
So you can believe in what you believe in, I just believe in them
No war report on my broadcast
Bottom line, I can still see an end
From a city that I don't identify with, just create a space you would die to live in
Ain't no rapper no more, I'm just Byron, listen
Documented my life and you bothered with it, mm

[Hook 2: Byron Henderson]
Deep end
Said I was going off the deep end
Whoa, whoa, whoa
Every ditch he ever dug deepened
Whoa, whoa, whoa
Said his fear of dying young was a weakness
Always had the most potential, but you were dying for him not to reach it

So what did you think I was meant for?
What I'm here for, yeah, these two
You can try and reach a goal or sit around and hope that your goals reach you
But I ain't never letting go of what I've got a hold on
That's forever and forever's so long
He was dying for the day the real me gets to meet you

[Beat Switch]

[Part II]

[Intro: Byron Henderson]
I stand here with all my trust in you
But if it ends up being all for nothing, well, that's nothing new
F it

Just lay your bod to rest fore you go up in powder smoke
No one knows me, and no one knows

[Verse 4: Byron Henderson]
Death is something you can try but ultimately never plan for
The only thing I'll take a fall for is what I stand for
Just don't blame me if you get X'd out
If you did right by me, you won't be left out
We all die one day
Little old me, green as the paper they kill for
Never knew unity 'til I met Kels, I'll keep it real, dawg
Triggered by triggers pulled, the picture's bigger though
Marina showed the reaper a needle, said I want him to sew
All these blessings, positive traits, I reckon
Aaliyah showed me the crevice to crawl away from the wreckage
My battle wounds, I'm licking them clean
I do not owe you my time
Saw everyone that looked like me turn every other cheek
Sheltered myself in the booth
Blacker the berry, tighter the noose, mm
Darker the trauma, deeper the roots
Love moved away when I was nine so I would adapt to dying
Who would've thought we'd reunite same year I turn 22
History repeats, but not with me
Guess y'all ain't get the memo
If I step up to the bar y'all set, I'd be playing limbo
Generational curses broken
Hearses open as the book my life is written in
I'd say it's pretty much evident the wicked get no rest
My energy's enough to make your negative spirit break out in cold sweats
You can't measure wealth of a ruler, F a crown
I won't stand for your pledge, you know I'd rather stand my ground
Better protect these kids before the shells hit them
Had to watch parents fail kids 'til kids fell victim
Found my own reasons to live that overshadowed every reason to die
It's probably hard to understand, but that's between you and God
I've seen money ruin lives, folks writing checks that just bounce
Death due to lies, trying to flip life around and botched the dismount
Be careful of the toxins you allow in your temple
Nah, it ain't just police brutality affecting your mental
Cause certain damage can't be undone
That's when they say, "We're all dying anyway"
But if you've got something to live for, ain't no need to speed it up none
And if we're talking power, let me give my hero unsung a fresh bouquet of flowers
Still trying to figure out how you were that strong at your weakest
Marina died and it broke me, yet you kept up with the pieces
You helped me learn how and why to love
How not to bottle up, even what home is
How to cherish every convo, hug, and moment
Cause when times were tough, it was us alone which gave me every reason not to run
Like F it, I was reckless
Cared about you more than myself
Barely cared for women before you, but still valued them more than my health
My light at the end of the tunnel, but I would've never made it through without help
K.C.F., the purest and realest of feelings I've felt
So here's to you, Marina, and Aaliyah
It's because of you that not a single fear will come between us
Went from traumatized to watching trauma die
Cause nothing means more than loving you
{Gunshot}

[Outro: Byron Henderson & Marina Esmeralda]
So I finally remember what I want to tell you. But um, before we get into that, which one do you want?

This one.

Okay cool. So, I was just thinking about how we kind of have the same issue where some things, I just couldn't forget. No matter how hard I'd try. Whatever I'd do, they'd always be there. But so would you. So would Kelsey and Aaliyah and I could never thank you three enough. I'm mad grateful, but I know I'll never be able to express verbally how much I love you guys. I say that because I know at this rate neither of us are probably long for this world. We're all strong. We're all– stupid car

{Laughs}

We're all, um, fighters. For years, we've been fighting like our lives depended on it, because they have

Right.

Okay. This should be a better spot
Now before I was rudely interrupted. We've been fighting for what feels like forever. Everyone's tired, and quite frankly, I don't want to be this anymore. You know exactly what I'm talking about when I say being strong is so freaking hard. But giving up is even harder when I think about what I'm giving up on. And I have this thing with you and Kelsey where we say we don't necessarily need each other, but at the same time, we kind of do

{Laughs}

See? You know. That's why you're laughing

{Laughs}

Obviously, there'll be changes. Probably really big ones. But if I do somehow come out of this alive, that's something I really don't want to change. Otherwise, there was no point in any of this

Right.

I honestly won't know what to do if it does. On a brighter note, strictly speaking for myself, I can say without a doubt that I've only needed you guys twice. Now and forever

{Laughs}