party politics

Tryna break down these walls I built around me
Drying my eyes with shadow before I leave
Deciding the version of me that i'm wearing
Making up for time I lost when I was a kid
If i don't go what if he finds somebody
Who can keep up with the way he talks the talk
Pretending to like the people around me
And I hate the host but I stayed cuz I'm lonely
Drink this potion for the brave
Hoping it keeps me awake
Bring me something good
Magic take the pain away
Cloud it up, numb my brain
Keep me dancing with the moon
Playing games
With lovers and strangers
Make-believing that i'm alive
Don't wanna wake up
Feel the rush
From fighting the tears on the neon dance floor
Moving to the beat of my anxious heart
Blowing ash and scratching my throat
By the garden light
Spilling secrets, making pacts that last the night
Imaginging all the whispers about me
Cuz my mind can't handle the politics of this party
Lips and tongues are pairing up
Hands are finding friends to touch
Am I good enough
On the outside looking in
Take a breath, have a sip
Convince myself that we're in love
Playing games
With lovers and strangers
Make-believing that i'm alive
Don't wanna wake up
Feel the rush
From fighting the tears on the neon dance floor
Moving to the beat of my anxious heart
Take my fear, don't leave me behind
Please don't leave me alone with my mind
Minds and bodies shuffling
Cloudy lungs are whispering
Pretending we're alright
Is my future self fulfilled
Write this story in a pill
Take it and complete the night
Playing games
With lovers and strangers
Make-believing that i'm alive
Don't wanna wake up
Feel the rush
From fighting the tears on the neon dance floor
Moving to the beat of my anxious heart
Take my fear, don't leave me behind
Please don't leave me alone with my mind
Take my fear, don't leave me behind
Please don't leave me alone with my mind
Take my fear, don't leave me behind
Please don't leave me alone with my mind
Take my fear, don't leave me behind
Please don't leave me alone with my mind