Sure Thing

Am I the bane of my existence?
I'm running out of thread, and steady counting by the inches
With wasted opportunities, I had learned to kick rocks all day
I know you want better for me
I just gotta see it for myself
And, God, I don't want to
Clean me up
Say what you mean now, it's a must
That' a sure thing, know it's love
Even though we don't get each other
I been through so many colors
I spun around 'til they bleed
With eyes closed, mistaken for a dream
Should I even bother saying these things?
I really don't know
Don't know much
Learn that more everyday
Hindsight or common sense I elevate to
Miss you so, cursed for being hateful
Throwaway the book or turn a page?
Are you there or am I going crazy?
Battles with to no avail
Used my change for a wish, that ship has sailed
A penny for a thought to wish you well
Life is a wishing well
Life is a fight 'til you hear the bell
But I do it, still
I try hard to keep it real
Know I gotta change a lot of ways
Never hit the hay
Then I sleep for days
Multicolor static hues
Letting go of all I knew
Gone with scorn
Conflicts what I adore
Rotten to the core, I'd have hoped for more
But I wouldn't hurt you
I wouldn't know for sure
Song of my life like an overture
Always gon' choose mud over dirt
My blood thicker than that, even on the curb
No decision, fuck what ya heard
To think there's a choice takes a lot of nerve
Down this road, it only gets worse
Would you still expect me to stay to my word?
I'd still expect you to remain undisturbed
I would expect all the same in return