Redneck Games

Greetings why?all
And welcome all you danged foreigners from other nations
Dear Lord be with our guests and prepare them
For the butt whopping they are about to receive

The Olympics in Georgia
God you know we're gonna screw that up
I guarantee you
When they let those doves go at the opening ceremony
There are gonna be guys in the parking lot with shotguns

And we will not have a flame
That big without a pig on it, I guarantee
Some fat guy going
?Danged good barbecue top of them stairs up there
They ain't got no hand rail be careful"

Of all the games that the rednecks play
There's some crazy events
If you know about the redneck ways
Then it makes perfect sense

Hell the Olympic rings will be five old tires nailed together
See that's my fear, they're gonna get the list of events
They gonna have no idea what half this stuff is suppose to be
Like for fencing, they'll be giving people bailing wire and sheet metal

There probably have to cancel water polo after
The first two or three horses drown
I tell you instead of discus throwing
They'll be flinging Ford hubcaps

You can't blame them for the way they are
But you can sit back and grin
'Cause they'll do something that's so bizarre
You'll want to see it again

If you could ever get into their minds
There's no telling what you might find
They just do things in a different way
All the games that the rednecks play

And you know they haven't even thought about it
But the river they're having the kayak races
On is the same river they filmed deliverance at

That ought to add a whole degree of difficulty shouldn't it?
'Cause if Ned Batty couldn't make it down
That thing a French man in a pair of biker pants ain't got a chance

Be prepared to watch the wildest show
Making her out in the line
You may not see them bringing home the gold
But they'll sure make mama proud

If you could ever get inside their minds
There's no telling what you might find
They just do things in a different way
All the games that the rednecks play

Hey Ed, I got a white one