Pronoun Police

I don't care if you're a he or a she
I'll be callin' 'em the way that I see
No pair of high-heeled shoes is gonna fool me
Cause I can tell between a he and a she

I don't care about your 'hes' and your 'hims'
Could give a damn about your 'theys' and your 'thems'
Nobody's ever heard of 'zee' or 'zim'
Now who you kiddin'? Ain't nobody that dim

It's a brave new world, everything's turned upside down
Nothing means what it used to mean
The carnival's run by the clowns
Pronouns were grammar, now they're a loyalty oath
Pledge allegiance to the rainbow
Prove that you're not a 'phobe

Give me an old-fashioned I, me and mine
Third person singular would be just fine
Present participle gives me the runs
Dependent clauses, though, can be real fun

I like to say the words that come into my head
Don't want a script with words that need to be read
Don't try to tell me what I shouldn't have said
Don't wanna have to say some words I've been fed

It's a brave new world, everything's turned upside down
Nothing means what it used to mean
The carnival's run by the clowns
Let's talk about her penis, let's talk about her princess wand
And all the men having babies
Something here just feels wrong

I don't care if you're gay or you're straight
For all I care you could be celibate
You could be bi and we would still celebrate
I got a lot of love, I ain't got no hate

But don't lie and say you are what you ain't
'Cause I can see you underneath of the paint
I hate to lie but that don't make me a saint
Don't say you're somethin' when I know that you ain't