Royal Fuckups

All my royal fuckups
All my royal fuckups
Don't let all the stuck up folks go keeping you down

All my royal fuckups
Come on let's get fucked up
All my royal fuckups
Rock your Burger King crown

You gotta grow the roots if you want the tree trunks
You want a garden then you gotta pull the weeds up
Look do you want to succeed?
Yeah I want to succeed but fuck it planting seeds sucks
From Brooklyn to Seattle
You want the cream, squeeze the udder on the cattle
I fell off of the horse so many times I'm thinking that some mother fucker must have spread some butter on the saddle
I'm getting battered when the ump is yelling batter up
Not jumping when the pitch is coming
But I didn't have a cup or grab my nuts and nobody would blame me if I emptied out my bladder like a baby babbling before this battle
I tried to storm the castle
I went to court, the judge he hit me with his gavel
So would you rather be up the creek without a oar
Or have somebody beat you with the paddle?

[Hook]

They say you fail a hundred times before you really win
And then you fail a hundred more before you will again
If that's true then I'm a diligent 1 in a million failure
I'm brilliant
I was a silly little freak
Didn't listen when the teacher told me not to speak
So she moved me and my desk out of the classroom and I sat out in the hallway for a week
I had to yell my name for roll call (Watsky!)
I tried to take it higher like a pole vault
In time all of my problems tend to snowball
But when I fall I can't be angry it's my own fault
So if they throw salt, they get a shake of pepper
The bitter beginning means the victory will taste better

[Hook]