Spilled Milk

My papa was my hero, I was always by his side
And when I acted out of pocket
He would always let it slide
I can't say all the time
I took a couple L's
He went upside my head when I
Was putting him through hell
His first heart attack, I was 6 years old
They ain't let me near the hospital
That shit too cold so I waited by the door
Hoping he would get home
And I was scared that he would die
And we'd be left all alone
And I remember that when
Mommy brought you home, i was quiet
Showing you the things around the
Crib like you forgot 'em
The doctors told me you would be
Good if you would chill
So stop smoking stogies, pop
You know they make you ill
But you ain't want to listen
You was always being stubborn
And that's the type of shit you
Let slide when you love 'em
You ain't changed your diet and
You stayed smoking Winston's
You can't make a strong-willed
Man change his vision
Sometimes you think something is
When it isn't
He was gonna die and that was his decision
I could never do the same in his condition
He left three sons and a
Wife in that position
The ones we hurt when we leave
The lies we live and believe
You got to learn to step up
And be the man that they trust

Ten years old
They telling me that my father dead
What the fuck was going
Through my father head?
He ain't think his youngest need his father?
Had a million chances to
Change but didn't bother?
It's like he ain't love me enough to live
Or too selfish to make an
Adjustment for his kids
And you ain't think you
Dying would divide us?
And you ain't think a
Ten-year-old boy needed guidance?
Ain't nobody talking
Just bottle it up inside us
And shit could turn ugly when there's
No one there to guide us
It's all good, I still love you
I forgive you
But that ain't gon' be something my
Son is gonna live through
He ain't gonna lose me the way I lost you
'Cause doing that to him is
Just something I couldn't do
I had to change the way I
Was living 'cause I was you
The same hard head and the same world view
I had to do a 180 and get my shit together
When you a mess, pop
It's hard to get your shit together
But I ain't living for myself now
It's all for him
And I'm trying to be everything
That you should have been

The ones we hurt when we leave (Oooh)
The lies we live and believe (Oh the lies)
You got to learn to step up
(You goooot to do it)
And be the man that they trust
(I got to be the maaan now)
The ones we hurt when we leave (Ooh yea)
The lies we live and believe
(You goooot to live it)
You got to learn to step up
(Oooh you got to do)
And be the man that they trust