is it worth it?

Sorry I ain't called, ain't been the same in a minute
I ain't had enough conviction to claim a sentence
Every call collect, been a victim and played a menace
My victories independent, my pen is never diminished though
Spent some summers alone, it wasn't nothin set in stone
Every flame that I found metaphorically dead and gone
And most of that be cuz I learned that I had read em wrong
I did a lot but I ain't do enough to get em home
And I ain't sorry, I ain't sorry, I ain't sorry
All the things I had to carry, none of them helped with
Made me stick up for myself when I was stickin through whatever then gon turn around and call ya boy selfish
I ain't ask for help when I was helpless, not when I could help it
In and out the crib like I don't know what mental health is
People say they there but never show what they can help with
Maybe I should change who it is I align myself with
I devalued myself fuckin with you
Every day I was deluded, I kept myself from the truth
Every pavement I was chasin ain't generate an excuse
You was playin with my heart like you rented something to do
I saw it all at the finish, I found myself at the end of what solipsism intended, I ain't fall and I still was spinnin
I'm callin up who gon listen, I'm solid when I do get it
Ain't callin it reminiscin you callin now that I'm winning, and
Now that I get it I'm okay
But what do I do on a slow day?
Do I hit you up when I want to?
Pride look at me like "no way"
Call it whatever you want but
I never been one for the roleplay
I really don't do indirect shit
Treat dates like a Pro Day
But what's it to you if it doesn't improve?
I gotta ensure I got nothing to lose
I'm always gon have some questions bout love
Like how did you know it wasn't for you?