Had to Let Go

Thought I had it all worked out
Body, mind, soul healed
Pulled myself out from low, yeah
No clue where I was to go, no
I did need to heal myself, my trauma
But the days go by
And then days go by, and I can't get them back
Like I want to, even if I tried
I ask, why I had to pass on myself until twenty-two
And my bad, I wore my mask
Thought I was a man until twenty-two
My dad peeled me back
Son, what do you really want to do and why
I don't really want to lose in life, and he says
You better start choosing right
Better start checking how you move in life
You better choose right
Better choose right
Better choose right

Now I had to let go
Of the old me
And I don't know if I'll ever be the same
But that's okay
I'm not scared of change
Pain's what made me this way
Through it all just keep on pushing
For yourself, just keep on looking
Climb on up that mountain
To see the other side
This struggle's got you doubting
Be the one to rise
This pain's got your surrounding
But it's keeping you alive

Looking back, I've been selfish
Looking back, I could not help it
Yeah, I never spoke about the lack of hope
Rope tied by the struggle that I've dealt with
Now I wish I would've told you
And I wish you could've helped me
Yeah, I probably should've shown more
But I folded eventually
Maybe I was empty and codependent
Maybe I was lonely when the show was ending
Maybe I was timid and so sensitive
Not me no more
Not me no more

Now I had to let go
Of the old me
And I don't know if I'll ever be the same
But that's okay
I'm not scared of change
Pain's what made me this way
Through it all just keep on pushing
For yourself, just keep on looking
Climb on up that mountain
To see the other side
This struggle's got you doubting
Be the one to rise
This pain's got your surrounding
But it's keeping you alive