E.D.K.H.

Tell 'em what's up fuggin' woo, yeah
Fuckin' cornbread Conner over there 'bout
To fuckin' sling some mud boe

Fuck 'em all,  got a goose in my glovebox
I'm wearin' Ariat's and I don't
Even wear socks
I tell them boys in the fancy ol' truck
Hook 'em up
Square body when I fuckin' square up (Woo)
Boot scootin' buggy in my knee cap jeans
You got a gun but you're scared of me
I be on a beat and I
Don't even grow no tomatoes
You can't touch me like a
Really hot ass potato (Woo)
Walk around with my neck muscles flexed out
Pocket full of money and
Some goddamn rainbow trout
Fuck fishin' license, I don't need that
Hit the game warden smack dab
In his little gonads
I'm lit'r than a truck on fire, swervin'
Hotter than a distillery full of bourbon
Nice twenty-two by fourteens
I hope you curb 'em
Get some bullet holes, son-of-bitches
Do you some learnin', fuggin'
Mountain Dew-Dew on the haters like a commode
I live where Bigfoot does
That's why I go beast mode
And they ain't gonna catch me
Camera man too slow to be redneck'r than me
There ain't no loophole
Pullin' up leakin' oil 'cause I'm slicker
I must be a Husqvarna, I'm a tad big thicker
Got a tootsie pop shawty
All I wanna do is lick her
I go hard, not even my own pecker is stiffer
I got a friend with a mullet
A friend with a musket
A friend with a chicken and
Some corn in a bucket
Every time I see wood all I
Wanna do is chuck it
Bonfire bigger than a rich guys house
Fuggin' rubber baby buggy bumpers
Alan Jackson thumpin' in my
Uncle brother's Hummer
Dip stains on my steerin' wheel
And all my covers
Santa Clause doesn't know but
Rudolf's got it comin'
Last year I asked for a '58 Biscayne
All I got was an orange and a pack of ROGAINE
You give me all that coal
You ain't give me propane now I got beef
I'm about to steal your sleigh
I listen to country music even when I sleep
I walk it like I talk it
I got boots in my teeth
My station wagon got a Jesus fish
Cut fender wells on 40's, bitch
Big lift kit 'cause I'm closer to God
Plus he gave me a ding dong the
Size of an Eddie Bauer rod
Skeet shootin' with some buddies
From my hometown
Pistol packin' that kaboom when
We go downtown
'Cause the weirdos on the corner
Look like sewer rats
Seen a dude in plaid shorts shit his pants
That's a fuckin' fact
I wasn't even high, I ain't even drink Jack
But that fella who pooped prolly
Coulda used a tater sack
Eww diarrhea in his Air Force 1's
If he was wearin' Tony Lamas it
Wouldn't have happened to him
Alright back to the cool shit
Like I was sayin' i want a mullet so long
That it touches the pavement
I need a Dukes of Hazard car so
I can smash all the Daisys
But like not the cousin ones
I mean like non-blood related
Bitch I'm Lacquer Thinner Larry
Sweeter than a blackberry
Bald-ass head but my nipples
Still hella hairy
Lookin' like a dreamcatcher on a
Set of man titties
I'm a country boy, I don't fuck with the city
(yeah) yeah, I'm a country boy
Morgan Wallen on the speakers
Ridin' through town steady wakin'
Up the tweekers lacquer

Tell 'em what it is Bench Seat Bobby
Guns, moonshine, and weed's all you need, boe
Might be a little dust on this bottle fuggin'

Slim note Jimmy though I drink like Buffett
I've been chillin' with the bitches
'bout a couple hundred dozen
They pour the Jim Beam all up in my gullet
Tryna get me drunk so they
Can play with my mullet
Ridin' in the Camry son, I rip the E-brake
Take it to the curb slidin' sideways (Skrrt)
Then I turn it around and I
Take it back to my place
Put her ass on the couch then
We hit a three way, woah
(Damn)
Bitch I'm patriotic, bleed red, white
And blue if you ain't about this
Country well motherfuck you
Your cousin hit me up, I nutted, cashew
Think I caught something, hold up, ah choo
Ain't muckin' you ain't nothin'
You ain't fuckin', i stay Sam Huntin'
Skinny jeans with Cope rings
On you fake motherfuckers
Big shit and big rigs rather be like truckers
Lift kit's and bit tit's
Eat a bitch like supper
I hide my face so the Clintons can't find me
Next day you'll find me suicided
From a pine tree
I turn around to see what's behind me
A fat booty chick, plump lips, a dime piece
(A huge bitch)
I'm here, I'm there, elf on the shelf
Got bars by the load tucked under my belt
Tongue kissin' your bitch
Dick her down then she melt
One more thing, Epstein didn't kill himself
Bobby