White Curtains

Torn between being a child my whole life or the man you need
Cause there’s the easy way out and there’s blood sweat and tears
And I’ll be gone more than I’m home for the next year
And it’ll take everything I have to not stop running

You said it’s never black and white with me
Just lesser truths and shades of grey
What the fuck did you see in me anyway?
An investment never worth the price you paid
For what it’s worth I feel the strain
But I’m too fucking scared of doing the right thing
I’ll never find it in myself
To let someone love you properly

If I saved up the hours that I’ve spent just drowning
Staring out at the empty space from my side of the bed
Well, I’d trade them all and the pictures drawn
In the condensation on my window to see you standing there

Lie to me, tell me you still need me
’Cause I owe that charade
For the only reason I found sleep
In the past three years
And I owe that charade
For the distance I keep
Between me and who I used to be

Torn between being a child my whole life or the man you need
Torn between being a child my whole life or the man you need

If I saved up the hours that I’ve spent just drowning
Staring out at the empty space from my side of the bed
Well, I’d trade them all and the pictures drawn
In the condensation on my window to see you standing there

There’s no shortage of new faces
And so many places I’ve never been
But the one place I keep in my head
Is where the sun shines through your white curtains
And the breeze that lifts them off the wall
And gently wakes me to the world
To an overwhelming familiar smell of home
But I can’t be there for long

And I never wanted to be the one that only lets you down
And a promise that I can keep is my two feet won’t find the ground
But your heart can’t see the damage done when I’m around.