General Custer

General Custer told me
We were going for a ride
Over by the Big Horn river
Where the water is deep and wide
Soon as I get my hair done
He said, "We will win the war
Go on out and tell the boys
What they are fighting for"

And he said, "A-give somebody a medal
Give somebody a three-day pass
Tell 'em 'bout a light at the end of the tunnel
And tell 'em to hold their sass
And pass me my lookin' glass"

Out in the buffalo moonlight
I thought I heard a bird
One old Indian fighter went pale
Said, "What was that I heard
Sixteen thousand nightingales
Stomping through the pass
Tell that idiot matinee fool
To get us out and fast"

And he yelled, "A-give somebody a medal
Give somebody a three-day pass
Tell 'em 'bout a light at the end of the tunnel
And tell 'em to hold their sass
And pass me my lookin' glass"

Dawn come up like taxes
And what d'you suppose I see
Every Indian in history
Tapping his toes at me
Things was lookin' shaky
Some of them boys was large
And what do you suppose old Custer done
You know, he hollered, "Charge!"

Nobody told the Indians
Who old Custer was
They commenced to stick to us
Like peaches stick to fuzz
Nobody told the Indians
They was supposed to run
And just as they did Custer in
What do you suppose he done

He hollered, "Give somebody a medal
A-give somebody a three-day pass
Tell 'em 'bout light at the end of the tunnel
And tell 'em to hold their sass
And pass me my lookin' glass"