Ptsd

I feel so stuck now
Nowhere but up now
Thoughts in my head I want you dead
I give no fucks now

You could of took my life and It would have been lights out
I didn't want another wipe out
In front of our kid
You could of laid me down
I have to look at his face and make him proud

He shouldn't have to think that this is what its supposed to be
Especially when you're the person who said that you love me
This dysfunction is not how we raise a family
I had to set me free

I can try to forgive but I wont forget
Have to know in heart that I have regrets
My PTSD Is still with me
Trying to move forward isn't easy

I don't want nobody near me no more
I don't want to have to crash or fall
Ain't no other man getting that close to me
Have to load the clip and put him out his misery

And all Im trying to say is
I'll never be the same
No one can see this pain
Feel like I'm going insane

I can try to forgive but I wont forget
Have to know in heart that I have regret
My PTSD Is still with me
Trying to move forward isn't easy