Please Remain Seated

Will all patrons please remain seated
Whilst I belittle myself to amuse you
For I've tried pretty melodies and sensitive lines
But the effort just seemed to confuse you
So will all patrons please remain seated
Whilst I teach this Chinese monkey to sing
For the words of a genius are nothing at all
But a monkey that sings always wins

Will all patrons please remain seated
Whilst I plunge this knife deep into my chest
And I'll lay out my heart on this tabletop
And I'll sell you my bloodied vest
For once I was a singer of ballads
A purveyor of music from the heart
But now I have learnt that that is never enough
You want blood and that's something I've got

You want tears and that's something I'll offer
You want sex, well I can give you that too
You want something to shock you right out of your slumber
And I know that's getting harder to do
So will all patrons please remain seated
Whilst I sharped this axe on my tongue
For I used to believe in a thing called Art
But it seems it was only pretend

And I used to believe in compassion
And a thing called morality too
But the world has moved on since the days of my youth
And I've done everything I can do
So will all patrons please remain seated
Whilst I turn in my grave once again
For I used to believe in a thing called Art
But it seems I was the only one