Feast of Three Arms Toast - Introduction

[Narration]
Good evening, folks. We're the Pine Box Boys

On December 13th of every year, we celebrate the Feast of Three Arms. Commemorating the woman with three arms, the man that done her wrong, and the son that loved her so. It was on this day in the year 1929 that Jubal with No Last Name called to reckon the man who thrice jilted his mother: in the orchard and at the courthouse and by her grave, and who ultimately was responsible for her death, the lovely Parmalene with Arms of Three

If there are any here, tonight, that bear a grudge against a past wrong, and if that grudge is left to stinger in your flesh that has worried you all year, we ask you to raise a glass and join us as we deliver the Feast of Three Arms commencement toast:

In the first hand is a glass that I raise to Parmalene
May we all feel the love an extra hand can bring

The second is for Jubal, the boy with no last name
Who loved his mother so -- may we all do the same

The third, a glass of water, you should know where we begin
It commemorates the river Jubal dumped the preacher in

So raise your shot, your glass of wine, that frosty mug of beer
And may you all fulfill your vendettas before we meet again next year!