My Egyptian Grammar

I never thought it could have happened to me
I never thought it could have happened to me
But on the morning of my eldest daughter’s second wedding
I blacked out
They said it was it was just stress
But I don’t think so

I couldn’t remember the 15 minutes before
A white-haired half-Samoan girl from Darwin
Gave me a ride, it seems
She let me the car in
But what it was she said
I couldn’t say

Now, that clearly didn’t happen
I consulted my Egyptian grammar
On page 3333 was the hieroglyph for motorcycle helmet
(I never thought it could have happened to me)
I combined this with a leatherback's shell, as I felt I was instructed
(I never thought it could have happened to me)
I Xeroxed it and posted it down by the bike lock-ups at the Oriental Institute
Maybe a netherworld entity would see it and pass it on to those responsible
That kind of thing must happen sometimes

Now, that clearly didn’t happen
I consulted my Egyptian grammar
On page 4428 was the hieroglyph for French canal boat
I met on the Midway someone channeling up a whatever-it-wasn’t
There are 17 sections of cymbals in the orchestra of the oversold, it said
"Your youth is lost, and doesn’t it now seem
You can’t make smoke, only steam?"

Now, that clearly didn’t happen
I consulted my Egyptian grammar
On page 5566 was the hieroglyph for a blue jay