To Fall Apart

A life about to fall apart
What have I become?

As the gaze turns inward
A spiral of thoughts
Wave the white flag
And let the black one bow

A successful, talented, sensible and smart person in so many aspects, but I didn‘t want to stop gambling since I know I am good at it… That feeling was so strong that I always returned to it. Life was about to fall apart when it actually looked very good on the outside, and then I asked for help from a person who had gone through a twelve-step program and who I had seen had a completely different life. To be calm, bе balanced and actually seemed happy as well

So I madе that call and asked for help for the first time for real. I said to another addict “please help me, I can not take it anymore”. This was the first time in my life that I have ever done this