Resume Man

When a man approached me with a resume
And said 'if you need any help, then Im your man.'
He said, 'Ill work the door, Ill load your gear if you boys Get thirsty, Ill go for beer, and if it ever breaks down, I can Even fix your van'
When I asked the guy what he did for work I saw a twinkle in his eye and he gave a little smirk he said, 'I work right down the Road, Ive got a melon stand.
Set up in a shady spot, I sell watermelon and a little good pot, And last year I made damn near thirty grand.'
He said, 'I need a change and I love your sound, I sure Would like to get out of this town and dedicate my life to a Rock and roll band.
Ive been a race car mechanic and a body guard, Im a CPA and I work real hard.
Come on and hire me on, I can see you boys need a hand.'
'You know Ive done it all and been around Had a lot of good jobs, seen a lot of rough towns.
Id like to offer you my services for hire.
I was a cook in the army and I drove a jeep, I had an Eighty acre ranch where I ran some sheep, I sang bass in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.'

Chorus:
Hes a resume man, hes a resume man.
If he cant do it, I dont know who can
It says right here, hes qualified
Fifty years on the job but the man is only forty-five.

But things started getting a little weird
When he stared at Mike and took a swig of beer,
And said, 'Whats with the lady, she really blows my mind.'
Well I know the man was qualified, hed worked a hundred Different jobs, done them all with pride but he wasnt exactly the Help wed hope to find.

Chorus