Everybody Ought to Have a Maid [From A Funny Thing Happened on the Way]
Everybody ought to have a maid
Everybody ought to have a working girl
Everybody ought to have a lurking girl
To putter around the house
Everybody ought to have a maid,
Everybody ought to have a menial
Consistantly congenial
And quieter than a mouse
Oh, oh, wouldn't she be delicious
Tidying up the dishes,
Neat as a pin
Oh, oh, wouldn't she be delightful
Sweeping out
Sleeping in
Everybody ought to have a maid
Someone who you hire when you're short of help
To offer you the sort of help
You never get from a spouse
Fluttering up the stairway
Shuttering up the windows
Cluttering up the bedroom
Buttering up the master
Puttering all around the house
Oh, oh, wouldn't she be delicious
Tidying up the dishes
Neat as a pin
Oh, oh, wouldn't she be delightful
Sweeping out
Sleeping in
Everybody ought to have a maid
Someone who in fetching you your slipper will
Be winsome as a whipporwill
And graceful as a grouse
Skittering down the hallway
Flittering through the parlor
Tittering in the pantry
Littering up the bedroom
Puttering all around the house
A maid?
A maid
A maid
A maid
Everybody ought to have a maid
Everybody ought to have a serving-girl
A loyal and unswerving girl
To putter around the house
Oh, oh,
Think of her at the dustbin
'Specially when she's just been
Traipsing about
Oh, oh,
Wouldn't she be delightful
Living in,
Giving out
Everybody ought to have a maid
Daintily collecting bits of paper n' strings,
Appealing in her apron strings
Being only in her Blouse
Pattering through the attic
Chattering in the cellar
Clattering in the kitchen
Flattering in the bedroom
Puttering all around the house
The house
The house
The house
A maid?
A maid
A maid
A maid
Everybody ought to have a maid
Someone who's efficient and reliable
Obedient and pliable,
And quieter than a mouse
Oh, oh, wouldn't she be so nimble,
Fiddling with her thimble
Mending her gown
Oh, oh, wouldn't she be delightful
Cleaning up
Leaning down
Everybody ought to have a maid,
Someone who'll be busy as a bumblebee
And even if you grumble, be
As graceful as a grouse
Wriggling in the anteroom
Jiggling in the living room
Giggling in the dining room
Wiggling in the other rooms
Puttering all around the house
The house
The house
The house