Blow My Candle Out
If there really is a big
Fluffy Jesus in the clouds
Let him know right now that
I take it all back
If there really is a muscular, cackling
Red Devil in the ground
You should tell him save me a shack
But since I never saw either
At my local Walmart
Shopping, yelling at their kids in
Front of my optics
I've been operating under the
Premise that neither existed
Because I base my beliefs in logic
But if it's really true, what you say
And when my body's in the ground
I'll either float on up or drop right down
Then I'm nervous for the verdict
As a person I'm imperfect
I've been doing dirt lurking in
The gutter with the vermin
I don't deserve to go North when I'm gone
Glenfiddich rivers, swan shaped bongs
And some big tittied angels
Floating over ponds
Singing songs more soothing than
Bed Bath & Beyond
No, I deserve my skin scorched
Skies made of skulls
Sasquatches made of fire, as I
Fall into a gulch, everything black
I'd give my left nut and my dick
For the chance to go back
You and I both know I can't shut my mouth
But before you blow my candle out
Would you please just listen to
Me here right now?
Before you blow my candle out
‘Cause if I had a second time around
I would turn it all around
If I had a second time around
I would turn it all around
Man that's what they all say, you're done
No, no, no
Shut the fuck up and listen for once!
‘Cause I've been sitting on your shoulder
As you've grown colder
All of these years, yelling in your ear
But you wouldn't hear
You had another plan, too big for little me
Let me put it in a
Rap simile you'll understand
I gave you a fair shake
Kind of like a Ferris Wheel
During an earthquake
Get it? Like you didn't when you had it
Couldn't get it locked down, no
Don't bother with a frown
You were healthy in the mental
Potential with the pencil
Could've just filled in the stencil but
You're tempted by the Devil
Content to just to settle, get a bronze medal
You laid your picnic in the wrong meadow
‘Cause now you're trembling and mumbling
Defending what you've done to him
You took the low road
There's a toll booth coming!
And guess who's in the booth, man, not I
It's the one that the burglars
Are meeting when they die
And the murderers and neighborhood circlers
Guy it's not a piece of cake if you
Want a piece of the pie
So I'll have dinner with the winners
While you simmer with the sinners
Turn your summers into winters
What a bummer, you can whimper
You could've been a star, just a glimmer
Now let me blow your candle
Out and make it dimmer
You and I both know I can't shut my mouth
But before you blow my candle out
Would you please just listen to
Me here right now?
Before you blow my candle out
‘Cause if I had a second time around
I would turn it all around
If I had a second time around
I would turn it all around
Ladies and gentlemen of the congregation
We are gathered here today to celebrate the
Loss of a demon: Peter Sparker
And may he never live again
A scourge on this Earth
May our children never repeat his mistakes
(Hallelujah) and may he burn eternally
What do you want me to
Do? You fucking sorry excuse
You dug your own hole, lie in it, dude
No, no, no, that apology's cute
But all will be through
I'll blow your candle like
The chances you blew
Yeah, you had some moments in the radiance
But then you'd always go
Skulking back into the shade again
You disappointed your family, shamed friends
I got a list
Here's the order of my list that it's in
It goes your daughter, your
Mother, your girl, your brother
Jeff, Cam, Matt, your father, sister
And some others
So while you wither like Bill
Your little life will be
Forgotten while you're rottin'
Wikipedia pages, they will be fadin'
While you're waitin' for a pardon
From this run-on sentence
Unpunctuated arson
While you stand there bare
Your closet full of skeletons dancing like
The flames on your hair
Hey, don't be lachrymose, Spose
You're your own foes make this bed of coals
You can go and sleep there
You and I both know I can't shut my mouth
But before you blow my candle out
Would you please just listen to
Me here right now?
Before you blow my candle out
‘Cause if I had a second time around
I would turn it all around
If I had a second time around
I would turn it all around
