A Lifetime Ago

Crushed by the agony of a silent oppression, cold sweat envelops me as I gasp for breath
Each of these trackmarks tells its own horror story; my hands are shaking, I haven't slept in days
There's no denial, I know what waits for me
The calming hand of death is almost in reach
There is no promise
There is no future
Dry your eyes, you know we'll never tell, and if this secret was so hard to keep we would fall
I have no option, I'll throw it all away
I've sold my soul; I've lost my mind
There's noone I can turn to, in whom to confide
My ghost confronts me and I can't look away
Look at what I've become, a shell of a man
My desperation signals my untimely end
The thought of staying painless is all I have left