novocain

My mind has a tendency towards violence
I hide in a corner of the silence
When I look in the mirror
I see all I want to erase
A delicate doll made of porcelain
Wearing a dress made of lace
I wish I was stronger
Better at faking this brave face
Destroy me from the inside
Consume me from within
My mind has a tendency to bargain
To hide my pain at all costs behind the curtain
I'm addicted to avoidance
It feels like there's no point that I'm alive
The pit in my stomach's getting sharper
Counting the minutes makes them start to feel like hours
What's a life without enjoyment
Or the point of fighting back when it's in vain
Inject me with some novocain
Even if it'll never help to numb this pain
Battle rages on inside my mind
Relief I've always been denied
My mind has a tendency to patterns
To fixate on the details like it matters
This train wreck I'm living gives no fucks for repetition of dates
But I've lost it eight times since the eleventh
And now I've lost the good I've done since adolescence
This hell that I'm living maybe it's all well deserved
Inject me with some novocain
Even though it'll never help to numb this pain
Battle rages on inside my mind
Relief I've always been denied
Destroy me from the inside
Consume me from within