At Home With the Animals

While you were readin' the black bible in the sun
I was half drunk out the window of a movin' city bus
Wilder than the devil, like a tiger in the brush
Louder than an atom bomb that only you could hush
Spinnin' like the Earth and Moon, but never really touched
Alone, the ways I wanted to be loved
You were not enough

While your head was bowed and hands prayin' to God
I was swingin' from the chandeliers like some endangered animal
Somewhere in New Orleans on the run
Like I just won the lottery
With God-knows-what inside of me
Hair a mess and shoelaces undone
Of all the ways I wanted you
You were not the one

While they were teachin' you how Moses split the sea
I was in an airplane bathroom doin' speedballs off the sink
High as any angel movin' at the speed of sound
Someplace over Germany, movin' through the clouds
Winkin' back at stewardesses, supplyin' me with ale
Big-hooped golden earrings stayin' at the same hotel
Of all the ways I wanted you to hold me
I could not be held

While you were waitin' for the doctor in the chair
I was stoned ridin' the cyclone at the Onslow County Fair
The stars above us sparkled like they didn't pay the bill
Smokes behind the haunted house, chuggin' stolen beers
Cotton candy kisses underneath the Ferris wheel
Of all the ways you wanted me to feel
I could never heal

While you were waitin' in the depot for the train
I was asleep on stolen cargo in the back of someone's plane
Halfway back to Florida from Cuba in the rain
Low enough to feel the water from the sprayin' waves
Underneath the radar haulin' crates of pure cocaine
Hung over and laughin' high above The Everglades
Of all the ways I wanted to be tamed
I was just insane

While you were waitin' in the lobby for your man
I was workin' at the circus as a garbage man
Rememberin' that winter you were in a long black coat
I'm at home with the animals, knife at my own throat
You hear the bells of freedom, but the chains all just say "nope"
If I was the Titanic, you were pink clouds and blue smoke
Risin' over Hemingway and in an old man's fishin' boat
Of all the things I wanted you to be
Of all the things I wish that you were now
You were not around

You were not around