Existential Ecstasy (feat. Lucci Damus & Stewart Drake)

Too stubborn for a therapist
I ain't going to lie to you
Insurance would have covered it
But that ain't what I want to do
I been raw dogging life
My soul might have some STD's
I didn't kill myself as a teen
So fuck it ain't no stopping me

Now I'm awake
Ain't got no triggers but I'm taking names
And there's some days where I still feel the pain
Suicidal thoughts can all lick on my bag
Because I'm not going nowhere today

My angle has pivoted
I used to want to be famous
But I ain't and I live with it
Not even salty because I'm sick with it
Like I'm dehydrated like onions
My layers are infinite
Y'all Shrek with the green
I'm wrecking the scene
My breakfast the bean
My necklace obscene
My breath on the lean
Because I'm in Hell tripping
Your bitch like me because I'm heroin sticking
I've always been the loser with the big grin
One dimple
Cautiously up with my motherfucking thumb thimbled
I staple my smile until my days some simple
Then I drink caffeine until I crash like a drum cymbal

Call me Zaza I'll take every hit
Call me Papa because I'm about to split

Now I'm awake
Ain't got no triggers but I'm takin' names
And there's some days where I still feel the pain
Suicidal thoughts can all lick on my bag
Because I'm not going nowhere today

I've got a Megamind It's a big blue mess
In my glove box is a big new tech
Don't use a crutch I'm just off-kilter
Vomit all over my pop filter
So hold up wait
I don't relate to not a thing you've got to say
Because in this state I'm quick to grate
I'll manipulate what you incubate
Fuck cancel culture
I'll invite my momma and kids to see this like Look Y'all
I'll abort retorts like I went back in time
And killed your fetus to good applause

Now I'm awake
Ain't got no triggers but I'm takin' names
And there's some days where I still feel the pain
Suicidal thoughts can all lick on my bag
Because I'm not going nowhere today

Happy as Hell because I want to be
Took a pill of existential ecstasy

Sipping liquor by the liter
You don't got to see it to believe it
There's a reason you don't see me every season
Already know what's up they just want to judge
I don't want to see them anymore than I want to be them
I'm cracking another chugging the AM to the PM
Say that you love me but really know that I'm a heathen
Say that you with me because
You know I'm facing demons all evening
And it's hard to hear you when they all speaking
Say that you with me because
You know I'm facing demons all evening
And it's hard to hear you when they all speaking

Now I'm awake
Ain't got no triggers but I'm takin' names
And there's some days where I still feel the pain
Suicidal thoughts can all lick on my bag
Because I'm not going nowhere today
Happy as Hell because I want to be
Took a pill of existential ecstasy
Call me Zaza I'll take every hit
Call me Papa because I'm about to split