Double Lives

Riz Ahmed

CHORUS
I don't know which way to go
It's a path that I can't find
I'm just tryina be me baby
Can I build a bridge inside
I don't know which way to go
It's a path that I can't find
I'm just tryina be me baby
So I live a double life

VERSE 1
Since we were small
We been taught
A certain way to be is law
It's deep seated like jeans that fall
My son, our people came to these shores
With nothing, honour is all we brought
So keep your culture, keep the fort
Some last of the mohicans talk
Since we felt like outsiders this helped define us
And we made it our choice
But now I'm just confused
Half mohican
Half cowboy
Cos life slips, ideas mix, is it best of both
Or two lies I live
At home take comfort in culture, religion
When I'm out then I flout it
Fucking and pillin'
Live a double life
Keep shit hidden
Never shitting on my own doorstep like a pigeon
Drink smoke drugs and women all forbidden
So what? wait up f your ethnic it's different
Get caught, the family lose face
Mum has a heart attack her heart breaks
Dad disowns you, sorry is too late
Girls get married off or turn up in a suitcase
But even with no threat, respect
Means you'd rather lie than cause upset
They taste boots racist abuse, slave laboured until they're great to raise you
So keep hiding, keep Jekyll on the low
How long will it last? I don't know
Drink in my hand with my girl on the phone
Anything you wanna tell me son?
NO

CHORUS
I don't know which way to go
It's a path that I can't find
I'm just tryina be me baby
Can I build a bridge inside
I don't know which way to go
It's a path that I can't find
I'm just tryina be me baby
So I live a double life

VERSE 2
Growin' up was all about chewing gum and saying how
You was at your mates when you were going out
Eye drops for redeye, copper coins in your mouth, hide caller ID when you call a girl's house
By this age it's bait the whole family blatantly knows your game the truths out
Drugs and johnnies in your trunks and pocket
Been found with a gold heart locket no doubt
They know what you do
But its still all a taboo
So everyone pretends it's like the Truman show, who are you?
Don't recognise your own face in the mirror feel so detached
What do you expect when your life's so slashed down the middle you're living like a psychopath
So you can either keep on your sheepskin
Or come out as a wolf but your shepherds will be eaten
That's why the youth got nobody to lead them
Either going jail or grow a beard start preaching
Is the way I was raised what I believe in
Never be at peace til I know who I'm pleasing
It all gets deep when your demons don't let you sleep and your girl is a heathen
But that's a whole other tune
By the next album I'll decide what to do
Slippin', sipping on a mixed up brew
Yea we like the taste but we spit some too
SO I spit this for the Muslims and Jews
Christians, Sikh, Jains the Buddhists and Hindus
Confused, stuck between old and new?
You're probably gonna fuck up your own kids too

CHORUS
I don't know which way to go
It's a path that I can't find
I'm just tryina be me baby
Can I build a bridge inside
I don't know which way to go
It's a path that I can't find
I'm just tryina be me baby
So I live a double life

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