Happy Veteran's Day

Why can't I feel good saying good things?
I just want to show your smile to my eyes and sing
Your deep end
Would lack the water to reach my knees
And my stomach
Is the subject of a boyscout merit badge
I'd like to say that I'm on top of the game
But I will forfeit before we tie
I am disqualified
If we threw a party
For every penny thrown in the dish
Nobody's pants would fit
Don't flatter yourself
You're not worth the lyric baby
Oh, stings just a little?
It hurts me too
So I think I should think not to buy you this drink
Or waste my sense of humor before I die
But I'll stand here petrified
While the black-lights act as billboards
To the dandruff on our shoulders
And when the barstool calls me over
I have to give in before I give up
I'll admit this was fun
But I need someone more capable of giving a fuck
Not fucking to get
Like a landmine makes an amputee
You just have to make a fool of me
You would just love to make a fool of me
Wouldn't you?
Why can't I feel good about saying good things?
I just want to show your smile to my eyes and sing
"Happy veteran's day".