Pain In Da Ass Stewardess

Ladies and Gentleman, we'll be landing in about 20 minutes

Descending into Kennedy Airport

The time is 5:20 am and we're a little bit early this evening

The weather in New York is 55 degrees and there is a light rain falling

Thank you so much for flying with us, I hope you had a pleasant flight

We'll be coming around and collecting your blankets and headphones

So please fasten your seat belt and store your carryon luggage

In the seat beneath your ass

Sir, can you please fasten your seat belts we're preparing for landing

Aight, I'ma do it right now I just gotta get something out of this bag

Sir, can you please put your seat in the upright position

And store your tray table away?

Alright hold on, I told you I'ma do it right in one minute

I just got to get something out of this bag

Sir, can you please turn off that Walkman, I've been telling you

The entire flight, it's against federal regulations to use a walk

Hold on, hold on, hold on, I ain't trying to hear that

Listen I told you I was going to do it in one minute

You're starting to get on my fucking nerves

Get the fuck outta here, aight

Sir, is there a problem?

Yeah, there's a problem

Do I have to alert the captain?

Yeah, alert your captain this

Get the fuck over here

Come here, take me to the fucking captain

Who's in charge here?

I am

I said who's in charge here?

Uh, you are

Alright then, now turn this mutherfucker around

Is this shit on?

Ladies and Gentlemen this is your captain speaking

This is a mutherfucking stickup

We'll be cruising at an altitude of 30,000 feet

I want your wallet, your cash, your jewels

Your rings, baby rings, mutherfucking shoes, sneakers, socks

I want the credit cards, the welfare cards

I even want your fucking freaking flyer mouse

I'm telling you the first mutherfucker to move

Is gonna catch this mutherfucker

Now send the bag around, thank you

Mutherfucker didn't I say don't move