Those Jeans

Well, I was out at the Long Branch, and I was talkin' to this girl
And every hound dog in the joint was sniffing around her
I was playing it slow and cool, being the gentleman that I am

Well, then this grease ball with long black slick back hair
Struts right up to her like I wasn't even standing there
He looks her up and down and cocks his eyebrow and he says, "Baby, damn

How do you get in those jeans?
Mercy you looking fine
How do you get in those jeans baby, and tell me how do I?

She looked at him and smiled and said I thought you'd never ask
He looked at me and said, now that's how that's done son, just like that
I wanted to be mad at him
But to tell you the truth I was really kinda impressed

He said you might get slapped 9 times out of 10
But there's always one that wants a little B.S. kinda man
So I walked up to the next girl I saw who wasn't wearing a dress
And I leaned in and said

How do you get in those jeans?
Mercy you looking fine
How do you get in those jeans baby, and tell me how do I? (I sure did)

Well, I woke up later in a hospital bed
With a half-pound of gauze wrapped around my sore head
Some of my teeth were gone
And I was drinking mashed taters through a straw

You see, uh, turns out the girl that I propositioned had a man
With a chip on his shoulder and blunt object in his hand
Who proceeded to express his disapproval of the lines that I crossed

Well, they told me I could leave, so I put my clothes back on
I stumbled past the waiting room just minding my own
And then this over nurse night nurse
From out of nowhere comes up to me and she says, "Excuse me sir, but um

How do you get in those jeans?
Mercy you looking fine
How do you get in those jeans baby, and tell me how do I?

Uh, well um I guess I did need a ride home
I gotta tell myself it was the right thing to do
Don't judge me