Nightmares

I had dreams of being a millionaire
Rolling down these avenues and
Getting a million stares
I hope y'all feel me, yeah
I wake up in cold sweats like: "damn
I'm still in here!"
Even though I feel no fear
I never can reveal my tears
My father told me I'd never make it
I celebrated when he died, nobody cried
Hope he's in hell with satan
I can't control my thoughts
Getting drunk and dozing off
Can't brush my shoulders off
Partna' I'm a soldier lost
Sick as a general's mind
When he's approaching war
Yeah, I'm getting better with time
I'm tryna focus more
I got a veterans grind, I'm tryna open doors
Public enemy like Flav when
He was smoking raw
Seen the birth of my little baby Queen
She seen the pain in my eyes and
I think it made her scream
You got to wake up nigga
This ain't no crazy dream
Never thought I'd be broke living
Off my lady's cream
Niggas telling me what I should
And should not do
Keep the advice to yourself homie
I'm not you
Nightmares of being a fiend like at 45
They all despise I see it
All in my daughters eyes
I slump down in my chair
Right before she cries
Point at the needle and tell her:
"that's where my fortune lies"
I wake up and I scream:
"still your boy is alive!"
I don't got money to live
But can't afford to die

Is you dreaming or is you fucking awake?
Motherfucker, is you schemin' or
Getting fucking cake?
Let me know if you niggas leaving
Or you stuck in place
I've been having these nightmares
About my fucking faith

If you've made the mistakes that I have made
Then you wondering why you ain't
Laying inside a grave
And every time you go to sleep
You dream of brighter days
When you wake up it's a nightmare
That's inside a maze
Still got a child to raise
No time to think about fashion and
How you style your braids
Got to put food on the table
You better find some ways if I'm going out
I'm going out in the fire blaze
I ain't gonna stop my mission
Until I'm finally paid
Swear to God I take the pain
Me and these niggas ain't made the same
Four or five shots I'll make it rain
Go and tell the cops, I'll take the blame
Got visions of women in
Linen giving me rhythm
But I'm just a snitch away
From sitting in prison
Reality bites harder than a piranha
I tell ya honor that I'm
Hoping to see tomorrow
Hoping to see my father so I
Could tell him: "fuck you!
I ain't your son motherfucker
I'll never trust you"
I wake up in cold sweats and old sweats
I'm so stressed
Think I'm dying a slow death