Who Needs Girls

Who needs girls?
I do
Why?
I don't want to need something I don't like
Why are we all forced to agree to
Need things we don't particularly like?
Like, girls
I can't get along with girls
Oh I know it's my problem
And though all you female types listening
Are probably mad at me now
Who needs girls?
I do
Why?
I get all wrapped up in the package
And I'm suckered into
Buying something inside
That will explode out and make me
Totally reverse my preference
Like, totally turn off

Who needs girls?
You do
I'm not the only one
Okay, we all know the ages old phrase:
Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em
But i'm so uptight about this
I can't live with me
Am I supposed to to live without anything?

Who needs girls?
They do
Those guys
All those thousands of guys
Who are all forced to agree to
Need something they can get married to
And by crackie, they can actually be happy
Living with them
Seeing them
Every goshdarn day of the year

Who needs girls?
They all do
They're talking to each other:
'what are you thinking about?'
'what are you doing?' and
'why aren't you doing or not doing?'
'soooo...?'

Who needs girls?

So I guess I do
Yes I've said my piece
And I guess this'll probably be
A silly song to have to listen to
God forbid twice
But you see?
Even that's my problem as well
Me
Sloppily laying my moaning and groaning
On piece of plastic tape
Merely to waste your time
And mine
Who needs it?
Patrick?
I think I'm getting worse