Dimensional Time Portal (Skit)

"What's up bitches!"
"We are Psychostick!"
"Ugh, what's with the feedback?"
"I dunno what's wrong, I can't stop it."

"Everyone's leaving"
"Stop at the merch table on your way out"
"What is that out there?"
"It looks like a...dimensional time portal!"

"Action 5 Extreme Super News, we interrupt your regular programming to bring you this extremely super breaking news update."
"We're live at Festival Fest where it appears a dimensional time portal has emerged during a set by heavy metal band Pi-ska-stick (Am I pronouncing that right?)
The mob of concert goers are fleeing in terror as the band still attempts to preform. We go live to the scene"

I'm a dog and I have..."Ugh, come on guys where are you going?"

"We have received word that the U.S. military is developing a contingency plan to deal with the dimensional time portal as we speak."

"General. (Hooha!) At ease. At 1500 hours we experienced a tear in space time reality and dimensional time portal caused by the feedback of a band called Cyclonestrike."
"Actually sir, it's Psychostick."
"I don't care. I say we nuke the damn thing."
"Umm sir, shouldn't we found out more about the..."
"I said nuke it."

"Everyone's still leaving."
"Forget it guys, I guess a supernatural phenomenon is enough to make people leave a concert."
"Who are you?"
"I am Rawb from an alternate dimension in the future."
"Sup."
"I'm here to tell you that the dimensional time portal is blending our universes. Our world has been enslaved by haunted panties and if they cross over, women will never......put out....again."
"Woah!"
"Dude, the guy looks just like Rawb."
"I know, right?"
"Handsome."

"Reports are in that the dimensional time portal is causing a strange behavior in the majority of the female population. Their undergarments are glowing and they appear to be no longer interested in sexual activity."

"Hey Jennifer, you wanna go for a drink Friday night?"
"Sorry Jake, I have a lot of abstinence to do."
"I had no idea that my panties were glow-in-the-dark. Hey Jenny are you going out with Tom tonight?"
"Uhh, no. Guys are the worst."
"You're right and coitus is for losers."

"You see, only you can reverse it."
"If the military nukes this dimensional time portal it will open completely and there is no stopping it."
"What do we do?"
"Embrace the power of music and distortion. Play the one thing that will bring an end to this dimension of terror and rudeness. All you have to do is....ah ah ah!"
"Well, there he goes"
"So what do we do?"
"We do what that guy who looked like Rawb says we do."
"We close this rift with metal."