Black Blood

Patricia Walker

About ready for a burnout
Black hole in my chest now
Kind of numb can't feel wow
But it still hurts when I think about
Please dust settle feeling stressed out
Super tired won't sleep now
Getting so mad I just want to scream
But trying so hard not to make a scene
All the pieces broken deep inside of me
So bad go to therapy
Be patient it's a process
But I just want to see progress
Been struggling for so long
Must still be doing something wrong
Pessimism is a reflex
Got black blood pumping in my chest
Black blood it's super sticky
Everything that it touches turn to something icky
I don't mean to get dark
But I find it kind of tricky
I just want to tell that truth
Yeah this stuff is in me
Empathize
See it in my eyes
I'm tired of always wearing a disguise
This place that I've been in is dangerous
If you haven't been here take it from us
When you try to breathe in you get asphyxiation
Feeling too many feelings
Dissociation
Yeah it looks like the calm train has left the station
But look who just pulled up
Bus of frustration
You don't have a choice
You're going in
Deep isolation you can't bring your friends
You can try to tear your heart out and try to scream
But no one understands or knows what you mean
Whole life lacking dopamine
Serotonin oxytocin
Gray world all the color gone
Pitch black darkness with the lights on
Molten like lava burning in your core
Meltdown it's a detour
Whole body going off track
Wondering if I'll ever get back
Got lost in the brain fog
Like a bad car never pass smog
Trying so hard not to regress
But every single day put me to the test
Two steps forward twenty steps back
Can't stay encouraged believing that
Depression is a reflex
Got black blood pumping in my chest

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