Idk How To Be Sober

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(I like this intro)
To the Blue Eyed Demon
Track one
I don't know how to be sober
Holding a sign that says I need help is the hardest thing I ever did
And craziest thing is everyone's dead that was with me for my first hit
Only time I ever feel hope is when I'm in rehab, lying I'll quit
I call the shelter my home, but that's only if I'm not locked in the bin
I'm smoking cigs that I found on the floor
And I'm using needles that have been used before
Why is it so hard for me to say no?
For a handful of pills, shit I traded my phone
I don't know what Jesus would do
(I don't)
But I'd go through hell for some dope
This my last year being broke
I'm done wearing clothes with burn holes
I'm done fucking hoes for a home
Now I won't fuck unless I know her name
Ill sing a song for some change
I'm so down bad ill do shit for a penny
Even my parents wish they never met me
OD and wake up, I can't move my hand
Over 2 months before it moved again
In love with my ex, but I can't be her friend
Cause' I'll just get mad and say shit I'll regret
Look
On paper I'm mentally ill
But after I smoke I'll be perfectly chill
You know that shit good when it give you the chills
Fuck being sober I hate how it feels
She got some dick then got all in her feels
Pussy it hit like a pill
I like myself better when I'm on the pills
I know in my heart I could kill
But
I don't know how to be sober
And I've been high on every street in Arizona
Wake up from a coma
Everyone's Bitchin'
They don't understand my addictions a sickness
I'm not sad, I'm depressed, there's a difference
If I said I'm bipolar, would you look at me different?
Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda but you didn't
I pray that I'm dead before I rot in a prison
Just shut up and listen
If I'm going to hell then just pray for me
And promise not to lie at my wake
Don't bring me flowers, I mean yeah sure I want them, but now at this point, I'm afraid it's too late
I'd rather have crumbs with the bums because I get played every time I try sharing a steak with a snake
My dad thinks he's better than me but he drinks to escape so I think we exactly the same
Holding a sign that says I need help is the hardest thing I ever did
And craziest thing is everyone's dead that was with me for my first hit
Only time I ever feel hope is when I'm in rehab lying I'll quit
I call the shelter my home but that's only if I'm not locked in the bin