Disrupted

So I always prepare for the worst
'Cause I think what I think
'Cause I feel what I feel
Though Its wrong
To have such thoughts
Cause it's wrong to feel this way
I hate myself for the things in my mind

Still I'm reluctant to accept
For this is not deserved
For this is twisted, so delusional

Sophisticated weapons of self-disruption hide behind my eyes
I'm lost inside this ineffable monster of mine

I grew weary of existing
Let me determine this dishonor
For I am ashamed to wear this skin anymore

My fist is raining down on me
To stop the thinking
To liberate through pain
Just what have I become?!

Weapons of self-disruption hide behind my eyes
I'm lost inside this ineffable monster of mine

How can I endure the blame?
Purge me in fire, for that...
I think what I think
'Cause I feel what I feel

Am I able to stand firm?
When did I go wrong?
I grew weary of existing
Let me determine this dishonor
For I am ashamed to wear this skin anymore
'Cause I think what I think
'Cause I feel what I feel