What You Wanted

[Intro: David O'Brian]
I apologize for every time
I looked you in the eyes
And promised you something bright
Before I said goodbye
And went off on my drive
I look back on it like
Kinda wish I would've died
Because of all the lies
I fell for your tricks and I should've been wise
But now the pain is amplified
And I'm projecting it to a screen that's double wide
Yeah-ah-ah
You should know I tri-i-ied
(nk music on the track)

[Verse 1: NøtInVain]
Congratulations, I'm on the run
To escape the damnation, assassination
Of character
You're gone still hasn't registered
Good thing we're both on the rise and evolution
Signal on Verizon, executed
Why the fuck I feel so persecuted?
It's personal, I viewed it
Can't trust nobody and I can't trust me
Heart on steel, not supposed to be rusty
But it corroded and it fell piece by piece by piece
Dark, went eel, I'll mow the snake bloody
I finally put it back together, aye
Months after we'd separate
I got in a fight with me, it's heavy vs welterweight
Tore myself apart to entertain
When I used to just regenerate
Use my tattered body parts as home decor to decorate
I look at you
Then I look back at my reflection
And I just see constant hate
Told myself don't drink the Kool-Aid, no
Don't drink that shit from concentrate
You got what you wanted
But I'm worried you'll get hurt again
Nobody wins the game in the end
I know you can get so nervous
It's times like this I question my faith and my purpose
No guessing
I try hard but these feelings always seem to resurface
Liars and manipulation
Trials and the tribulations
Fires from the frustrations
Fliers like I'm missing
Never came back from vacation
Calling Mac Miller, come back to Earth
Cause you've been hurt
But life goes one day at a time
Step by step by step
Sobriety ain't easy
I wanna sip and smoke and trip and soak and riff
I'm not one to brag, but I'm always in my bag
And I need to get a grip
My whip, time skip
My wrist, got drip
My drink, 'holic
I'm gonna put the bottle to my head
And hit the bottom
When I pull the trigger
The holes in my heart and soul tend, they to get a little bigger

[Instrumental interlude]
Don't cut it yet...
(nk music on the track)

[Verse 2: NøtInVain]
Feels like living in oblivion is better
Equilibrium flipped, I wrote you so many letters
But I just put 'em in the shredder
Usually don't gamble, but I melted all of my cheddar
I've been getting bold like I'm a header
If I wasn't alive before all this then I've never been deader
Than at this point
You know I've got a vendetta
Don't even have the strength to spark the joint
I'm nothing without you, no
I'm nothing without my medicine
You were good and bad for me, huh
Drugs are an excellent comparison, hush
Goddamn, I miss that adrenaline rush
If I tried suicide would I survive or just die?
The last time I tried I took the pills and I flushed
It's true, I've been the harder to love
Used to be two gloves until I amputated
Cut the head off, no decapitation
Something came alive and I reactivated
Long enough for me to see the ring on your finger
Logging off, we've got some shit that's unfinished
But that's our business, in my head your voice lingers
The butterflies in our stomachs used to tingle
But they fluttered by, not one single
One of those motherfuckers stayed, the keys jingled
Before all this, I wasn't much of a drinker
But I'm swimming in the liquor
Like Mac and Kendrick Lamar is
Maybe it'll make me a harder artist
If I just keep up drugs and all the empty alcohol bottles
Didn't wanna trade you in for a cabal of models
But it let me add another chapter to this fucked up novel
Only 18 and I've already been through so much trauma
Step to me, you get the drama
Some people like to laugh in my face when I say I wanna kill me
I wanna see the solar system, float to space
I'm too cold with these bipolar symptoms
Went from normal to so filthy
He got down on one knee
'bout to die in the fight like I'm Monty
Sounds like Mr. Brightside just
Swooped you away from being Mr. Wright's bride
You're on a new rise, a new height
A new horizon, new high, it's called pride
You get it when a love dies
This is the true sound of when the doves cry