I Can’t Believe This Started As A Freestyle

[Intro: LEEJOE-da-Rapper]
I didn't wanna spoil
What this song is about
But I uh, think you could
Probably grasp the concept
Not gonna ramble on too long
But this is uh, impressive
By my standards I guess
So here we go, do it!

[Verse 1: LEEJOE-da-Rapper]
I can pretend all I want
That everybody wants to hear
What I have to say on a track
(Every single time I rap
It's like a kick to the ballsack)
I keep trying
But I ain't got no money to stack
I keep trying to make friends
But they just keep coming back around
To stab me in the back
I'm asking you guys please
Just cut me some slack
And stop making fun of me
For every single motherfucking
Thing that I lack

[Verse 2: LEEJOE-da-Rapper]
What would you say if I told you
I was trying to sound like Eminem?
Well, I told my dad and he said
I should change my name
He said my name should be
"In-An-N"
I'm rapping here until the bitter end
Look, 2017 I already lost some friends
From becoming a trend
And I'm shit outta rules to bend
And I'm shit outta 5's to spend
And I'm all outta good vibes to send
I bet you'll probably hate everything
About this song
Well that's gonna be hard
'cause it's not long
Just because my name's
On the tracklist
Oh, come on, who the fuck put me
On the blacklist

[Verse 3: LEEJOE-da-Rapper]
When I was a Freshman
There was this kid named Jake
He had more dickriders
Than there are ghostwriters for Drake
Callin' LEEJOE fake?
Well at least my teeth
Don't look like a fuckin' rake
Bringin' out all this rage
I'll entertain a person of any age
Can you please explain to me
How the I found your mom on
Backpage?
Getting a backache from this
Motherfucking stress
Get it?
It started in one head
And it went down to the other
I got one sample from one brother
But not the other
Word to your mother

[Bridge: LEEJOE-da-Rapper]
I am no leader
I am just a middle man
I am not famous
I am just a little man
I'll call out my militiaman
You put out a mixtape
And become the GOAT
And then say hello
To Felicia then

[Verse 4: LEEJOE-da-Rapper]
Throw in a dose of some ketosis
And add a pinch of scoliosis
To feel the pain of LEEJOE's hypnosis
I'm boutta rap about my diagnosis
Got diabetes at the age of 8
Thinkin' it might've been something I ate
Feelin' irate
LEEJOE does nothing but irritate
Saying, bitch if we go out on a date
I'd probably get drunk and
Then open up the floodgate
As the net worth starts to inflate
My self-worth starts to deflate
My mixtape just got delayed
Cause the intro just came in late
Oh what a cruel, cruel fate
I'm just looking for a place to innovate
And all my rhyme schemes are finna mutate
Shotgun a beer or shotgun a deer?
The redneck in my really wants to interfere
It's honestly one of my biggest fears
And it's brought on so many tears

[Verse 5: LEEJOE-da-Rapper]
Everybody out here killin’
Everybody out here thrillin’
Everybody in rap has to be a villain
Everybody in rap gives you that feelin’
Everybody out here be trappin’
Nobody out here really be rappin’
All the fake rappers on
They toes, pacin’ and posin’
All my favorite rappers are
In the ground decomposin’
They just be strappin’ and fappin’
Into each other’s asses
Makin’ it into the XXL Freshman Classes
Damn it’s such a shame
Guess I’ve been a damn
Old head since I was in
7th grade
Call me "LEEJOE Budden"
And I’m about to be headbutting
My way into this game
I’m about to gain fame
Away from the XXL list
Because of the bombass XXL diss
Oh, hell now, maybe I’m just taking the piss
But seriously though
Ugly God, Amine, X, PnB Rock, and Kyle
Those are the only good ones
You got on your list in a while
And you didn’t even put Joyner Lucas
On your track
At the 10th spot!?
Oh, yeah bet that decision was
Made on the spot
Just like my leg incision
Was made with a plot
And I’m about to stop playing
The game of charades
On the mic
But fuck it

[Bridge: LEEJOE-da-Rapper]
Bam, bam, bam
Run, run, run
Bam, bam, bam

[Verse 6: LEEJOE-da-Rapper]
Might have to start that
Mumble rap shit
Might have to sail out on
That damn mumble rap ship
(Tiimmy, Tiimmy, Tiimmy Turner)
Look
I don’t give a fuck
But if you go against me
You’ll end up under the dock
Getting operated on by the doc
(Ok, before I say the next rhyme
I just wanted to tell you that
I will never go into the
Auto-tune/mumble rap terrotory ever)
Dr. LEEJOE is now on the clock
Now it’s double time…
Motherfuckers always saying
LEEJOE this, LEEJOE that
LEEJOE is a dumbass rat
LEEJOE, we can’t even hear
You, when you motherfucking rap
LEEJOE will never succeed
Oh yeah
Well I hope you
Faggots suck seed
While you smoking
On your weed and
Vapin’ on your pen
While you’re sucking
Another guy’s hen
Shout out to the faggot, Ben
I beat the shit out of his little
Faggot men
That’s when I was zen, damn
Can’t think of any rhymes that
Are fire
So, I’m just gonna say “zen” again
Pull a Desiigner
Dissin’ so many people
Call it “Dis Raps For Hire”
Call me Kanye
Cause I’m rappin’
Through the wire
I’m not a good rapper
Maybe I should just retire
And hand out some flyers
And put out some fires
Savin’ survivors
Doin’ some good deeds
While I’m lookin’ at my
Facebook feeds

[Verse 7: LEEJOE-da-Rapper]
Hey kids!
Your dad gets mad
Cause my lyrics make you glad
And it’s really kinda sad
It makes me wanna grab my gat and go
Now Joe, be careful you don’t wanna impact
Too many people now
Looking at myself
In the mirror and
My life becomes clearer
As it turns out
I’m not famous, that’s heinous
(well, you don’t gotta be an anus)
(well, you’re an ignoramus)
Guys, guys, chill calm down
You guys always beefin’
And it always get heated
You gettin' seeded
Call you a fetus
(you always get conceited)
(you always tryna beat us)
If you both don’t shut up
We’ll all end up dead
Shit, I’m tired of arguing
With the voices in my head
Mixtapes not bringing enough bread
To move out of this town
That's completely full of inbreds